Saturday, September 10, 2011

Is romance killing your sex life?

Some women (and men too) are more sensitive than others to being sexually touched. What about our thoughts? How do our thoughts affect our sexual experiences? We can be sensitive to touch, our husband can be sexually touching us, and we would think, “We’re well on our way!” But if our thoughts are on what we didn't do today, or what we’ll do tomorrow, or something with the kids, etc., guess what? Our husband may as well be touching the lawn mower for all the response he'll get from us.

But then, I have a theory about what trips up so many wives more often than not, and prevents them from getting the most out of sex. They are too focused on being romanced rather than focusing on the physical sensation of being fucked. You hear so many wives complain that they don’t get enough romance. They look for it in everything they do with their husband, including during sex. If I were to try and make sex into a romantic time, I would have difficulties focusing on the physical sensations. Worrying about romance would be distracting for me. I mean, if I’m going to have sex I want to enjoy having SEX!!!

Don't get me wrong. Sex between a husband and wife is and should be an emotional act. What I’m saying is that I think romanticizing about the relationship while in the moment, detracts from the sexual experience. Where do women get these ideas of fantasizing about romance rather than focusing on sex? TV, I’m sure, has contributed, and I can only guess that romance novels don’t help either. For those of us who don’t prioritize for romance, we have an easier time just getting in there and enjoying the physical side of having sex. It's a whole "letting your mind go" mentality. I don't have to be in control of my thoughts. In fact, I don't want to be in control of my thoughts at that time. This works to my advantage, taking the entire experience way over the top.

Husbands, if your sex life is not what you want it to be and your wife complains about lack of romance, satisfy that need outside the bedroom. Keep the bedroom set apart for your sex life.

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