Many low and high sex drive spouses do not have a good working knowledge of what it means to be “consistently dedicated” to the marriage bed. Let me explain.
So often I read online where a high drive spouse does a ‘happy dance’ because their low drive spouse offers them a night of sexual bliss. While I understand how that could build hope for better things to come, do low drives tend to interpret this response as a sign that they themselves are 100% dedicated to the marriage bed? (ie, Well there, that ought to keep him/her satisfied for a week... or more.)
Do high drives enable that thinking in their low drive spouse by lavishing too much praise and encouragement without seeing evidence of consistent dedication? Encouragement is good, no doubt, but can it become overkill where it causes more harm than good thereby enabling inconsistent dedication? Whatever happened to ‘proving ourselves’?
The following is a comment I recently made after reading yet one more account of a high drive doing a happy dance because he was offered a night of sexual bliss. When I read these one-time accounts I want to say, “Oh please, contain your excitement until your spouse proves himself so you will not end up disappointed once again.”
It is crucial to have good communication with our spouse regarding our MB... so that one-time sexual events do not end up only as sexual blurps on the radar.... so we will see action the very next time we want/need action, be it every day or every 2 or 3 days or whatever our frequency level may be. It is not the blurps that keep our MB healthy. It is the consistent action which takes us from day to day, week to week, month to month...
We can compare this to two people who are dedicated to their jobs. One of them puts forth 100% every day. The other is satisfied putting forth 100% once or twice a month. Which of these two people would the employer appreciate the most? Which of them would likely remain the longest in a good employer/employee relationship?