Why do so many people struggle in their marriage bed? Do we go into marriage in ignorance? After the wedding are we selfish? Are we too lazy to work at the relationship? Do we think that the marriage bed will take care of itself? Do we believe in that dumb old phrase of 50/50 when it should be 100/100? The more time I spend reading at marriage forums the more convinced I am that something is terribly, terribly wrong with the way many of these couples go into marriage. Months and even years later they are still wallowing around in a pathetic relationship.
The problems are not on account of a lack of prayer or lack of bible reading or lack of church attendance. There is plenty of that going around. It seems that the bulk of the issues is because one spouse views the marriage bed as something sinful and/or one spouse does not trust the other spouse. How has fear of sin and lack of trust become more important to embrace than the fear of a miserable marriage bed? On marriage forums the marriage bed issues are almost all alike. After you read enough of them, the stories all have an eerie resemblance. It becomes so depressing to read that I often have to pull myself away from them.
Is there no end? Will there ever be a time when most Christian marriages will get off on the right footing so that their marriage beds will thrive from the get-go? Will there ever be a time when both spouses will say, “You know, we can do better than this. Let us put our heads together and work on a doable solution so that we can have a healthy and happy marriage bed.”
I have to wonder. What do you guys think? What will it take to get both spouses on the same marriage bed page? It just seems that most couples who battle with this, drag it on for so freaking long. Why do you think this is so?