GR and I have an understanding- Either of us are free to wake the other for sex. It usually works the first time around although we have times where the outcome is unexpected. Some nights, one of us tries to wake the other but if the other is sleeping too heavily we rest/sleep a little more and try again OR… and here is where the unexpected comes in. Other times, later in the night the heavy sleeper wakes and initiates sex and we finally enjoy a good romp.
We experienced this again last night. GR woke first and could not wake me and then later I woke and did the initiating. As long as we are being reasonable with each other (ie, grace during sickness, exhaustion), my husband and I have no restrictive rules about when sex will or will not take place, even during the night. If one spouse wants it, it is “a go”. For a married couple, agreeing to sex should be as natural as offering air to breathe or food to eat or affection for the soul. When we love someone we want to see them healthy and well in all areas of their life.
What are different ways to help a clueless spouse understand that sex is not an optional, part-time hobby… that it is as necessary as affection? If a spouse does not want to “get it” after having it explained, do you feel it would be wrong to offer an object lesson to help get the message across? I am thinking about a lesson where you tell the spouse ahead that you will be withholding affection for a couple of days just to help them understand what it is like to need something from a spouse that is not freely given.