I just read one of the most pathetic excuses for a couple to miss out on having sex. A husband was preoccupied playing games on the computer. His wife was dropping hints and even stripped in front of him, to no avail. I know, hints do not usually work. She went to bed horny, tired and angry. She ended up masturbating and then went to sleep. In the morning when they discussed the happenings of the previous night the husband tells her- I masturbated before I went to sleep. Why didn't you just tell me that you wanted to have sex?
Can we say "time for a rewiring"? Do you often find yourself without a good connection (ie, good communication) between you and your spouse regarding your marriage bed? Do you or your spouse recognize it right away or do you find yourself going around and around the same 'bush'? GR and I see this crop up occasionally but it frustrates the daylights out of us so badly that we spot it early and deal with it. We prefer the direct approach.
Do you and your spouse often talk to each other in different languages? Do you think it is more loving to grin and bare it to avoid conflict when you and your spouse are not communicating well OR... do you find it best to be honest and direct with your words (ie, You are pissing me off. Why?) OR... do you have another method which works for you?