Thursday, April 8, 2010

How do those women enjoy PIV-IC even when they do not O???

It is OK for me to want to have sex and not care about Oing. For men I know this would never do. You guys and some women, too, have sex and the O has to happen. I get that. And most of the time I do enjoy Oing. It is just that I am going through a short season of recuperation from surgery. Although my energy level is improving daily, it is not yet up to par so I am having to recup at a gradual rate.

This is not a big concern for GR. He is happy that I am still Oing SOME of the time and that I am still crazy horny for him ALL of the time. I am back to my occasional waking during the night for sex. Last night I woke around 3am just craving PIV-IC so I did what I do best in waking him. We both enjoyed a romp, he O'd and we both fell back into a deep sleep. Sometimes a gal just needs to be f^cked and then everything is OK.

You cannott get surgery recuperation much better than that! Thank God I can have sex although my doctor is still saying "no" right now to me lifting hand weights or playing golf :-(. There is a time for everything.


Hiswildcherry47 said...

Sheesh, Gemma, what a woman.

Love reading from you about your reckless 'wee hours of the morning' romp. You crazy female;-)

Please take care of yourself and for goodness sake don't go and bust a foofy valve in your ardent desire to be f'ck'd by your man. I am with you all the way in that nutso stragegy yet my wildcherry brain screams: "caution"!

Remember, we wanna ride this boat for a lllooonnngg time. Need to get back to optimal strength to make that a permanent reality so take time to recover... fully.

Enuff chiding, now go love on your man ;-) Ditto for me.

Ancient Mariner said...

“And most of the time I do enjoy Oing...”

The implication is that sometimes, you don’t want to O. I totally don’t understand that. My wife is the same way; she has made it clear that she expects me to do my duty often, preferably every night. But, while she wants to be fucked every night, she does not need to O each time. In fact, she doesn’t want to O every night. She said having me inside her and shooting my load in her relaxes her--I can accept that, the physical stimulation coupled with the satisfaction of knowing that she has given her body to me for my use--but then she says, “and it builds up the tension for the next time I want to O.”

So how can building up tension be relaxing???

Another thing which puzzles me is she sometimes says she is too tired to O (like you with your lowered energy level.) What is it about the female orgasm that requires the investment of so much energy? I would have thought that just laying back and having your man stimulate your clit would eventually result in an O without your having to move a muscle. I can visualize being too tired for vigorous sex, but having my wife use her mouth on me while I was on my back, until I had an O. That would be a wonderful way to fall asleep. Apparently, it doesn’t work the same for some women. Can the ladies here explain, please?

Gemma said...

HWC, don't worry. Both GR and I are very mindful of the incision. Try wearing an incision wrapped around 2/3's of your body... you can't help but be aware of it ;-).

Gemma said...

Mariner, while I never see PIV-IC as "a duty" yes, I do passionately enjoy it on a frequent basis. From my understanding of most men and even some women who claim they must O every time--- It's like your wife told you, each time I forgo the O the tension from the arousal level does increase AND it keeps sex on the mind more because arousal is increased. Now I wouldn't want to skip it much of the time... that would be torturous... but skipping it occasionally does make the next time Oing much more intense. What women in her right mind wouldn't want to go about her daily business with her body in need of an O? I find it rather erotic, as it seems your wife does to, to go through my day at home, or to run errands, etc, with my body screaming, "NEED TO O!!!!!!" Then by the time we do come together again later that day or the next, I almost devour my dh. Makes for a very, very hot session, whether it's short like a quickie or a long 1 hour or more session.

THAT is what helps me keep passion in my marriage bed. Sex NEVER becomes hum-drum this way.

Ancient Mariner said...

Thanks for answering... the first part ☺ It didn’t occur to me that dw might be doing the same thing intentionally. I’ll have to ask her.

As for the second part, I am still curious about how the tiredness/low energy level comes into the picture. Is it more difficult for a woman to O the less active she is during sex, even though she is receiving all the stimulation and pleasure her partner can give? If so, what exactly is it that a “high-energy” woman does that a tired woman does not do? (assuming the same amount of body movement. Does she tense your leg muscles? Her abdominal muscles? Her PC muscles to increase the sensations?)

Just trying to understand you wonderful creatures better!

Gemma said...

I'm still not at my normal energy level. It affects my thinking during sex, it affects my desire to O and it affects how much I move during sex. The last one is also affected by the incision which is still healing. When my energy level feels normal all of the above is just easier. It really has little to do with how much stimulation I receive.

Right now I never know when my energy will come or go so I enjoy it and use it when I can. When my energy's low I can still enjoy sex... just don't always feel up to Oing. It's really not a big enough problem to interfere with GR's sexual pleasure or mine. He still has me when he wants me and I still have him when I want him. Overall, we're still enjoying an active sex life.

Ancient Mariner said...

I think I finally see. This is one of those subtleties in the different responses of men and women, the understanding of which makes sex even more pleasurable by introducing dimensions other than the purely physical into the act.

Thanks for putting up with my persistent questions and limited understanding.

bunnyhunch said...

Gemma: "It is OK for me to want to have sex and not care about Oing. For men I know this would never do. You guys and some women, too, have sex and the O has to happen."

For more than half our married life, I had no idea what an orgasm was, much less that it was important for a dw to go for one. I thought sex was all about HIS O (my pleasure, too, but an O?). It still bewilders me in a way. Maybe it's just that I wonder how I/we could have missed it.

These days I enjoy having an O often, but do not need to have one every time. Sometimes I'm still feeling thoroughly satisfied from our last romp; other times I just want to focus on his pleasure alone. The best O's for me happen when I lease expect it, actually - especially when I am thoroughly relaxed - and then WHAM! The lightning bolt strikes. Might be another reason I don't push for one every time. Those unexpected ones are a big treat. :-)

DH cannot O every time. The statement that "for men this would never do" doesn't apply universally. Only on very rare occasions can he have an O more than once in a 24/48-hour period. Our choices are to either have much sex less often, or to have it as often as we can/want and find pleasure in the intimate physical connection. He goes for an O if he's sure he can (or if he's to the point where he must push for one), but often he does not. By changing his approach, he is much less frustrated about not achieving, though of course he would rather it happened every time.