Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Favorite Sex Related Topics of My Readers

You guys came up with a wide variety of interesting topics; thank you for sharing them. I thought it would be fun and enlightening to go through your ideas, one by one, and see what discussions come of them. You all posted a total of about 15 comments so it will take a while to cover them all but that will be my goal. As I post each of your comments as an article for discussion, I will introduce it as "A Reader's Favorites". When you see your own favorites quoted in my article, feel free to claim it in your comment if you like. If anyone is uncomfortable with me posting their ideas as articles, please just drop me an email and let me know. Tomorrow I will post the first topic.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

DayQuil is evil!

Why oh why does DayQuil prevent me from Oing?

Since the weekend I have not been able to O while being sick and taking DayQuil. It is just not fair [Gemma pouting]. GR took some last night because he was starting to feel sick and he O'd just fine. This is the second time I have noticed my O's disappear while temporarily taking meds. What a bummy! Does anyone else go through this?

Sorry, just had to vent!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

What is your preference?

Everyone has their own favorite sex-related topics; I know I have mine. What are your favorites? It could be something you already do. It could be something you would like to do. It could be something you think you would probably never do. It could be thoughts, ideas or attitudes. When you think "sex", which topics peak your interest the most? Later on I will post my own favorites.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Wake up, wake up, oh dormant desires!

For the last couple of years I have so enjoyed developing and sharing a high sense of eroticism and passion with GR. Let me explain where I am going with this.

While so many husbands and wives tell about how they anticipate the arrival of their O's, in my warped way of thinking I have often wondered, "What is the rush? What about the journey?" Do not get me wrong. I love to O as much as the next person, however, I have found that it is the journey which ultimately keeps my relationship with GR on fire. Many times I have orgasms.... I could O each and every time if I wanted... but then there are those times that I purposely do not and I never fully understood why I made those choices... that is... until now.

My latest, greatest marriage book explains exactly what I have felt in my heart about eroticism and passion these last couple of years. I have been reading Shmuley Boteach's book entitled: The Kosher Sutra: Eight Sacred Secrets for Reigniting Desire and Restoring Passion for Life, ISBN: 0061668354 . You see, so many of the books on the topic of sex explain how to quickly get to O or if they write about the journey to any great length, the suggestions are quite lame. As a nice alternative, Boteach explains how to enjoy the journey and use it to heighten eroticism and passion in your relationship. I have not yet read the entire book but I thought I would share a few of his quotes in hopes that it would wet appetites for Boteach's unique writing.

Boteach says:

"The main principle behind Tantric sex can be paraphrased in this way: people should live in a constant state of preorgasm. We are meant to harness sexual and erotic energy without allowing it to seep out, and utilize it in our waking, conscious life. In other words, unlike Western sexuality Tantra is means-oriented. It is sex with the purpose of heightening arousal by delaying orgasm and not allowing your body to be purged of desire. You prolong sex for as long as possible in order to heighten the sensations that lead to the expansion of human consciousness. This sensation is then redirected, channeled into the mind, ultimately allowing us to live indefinitely in a heightened state of arousal."

"The sexual consciousness of husband and wife is aroused by having foreplay without sex, and sexual intercourse without orgasm so that lust and desire are fostered."

"Sex does not consist merely of the act of penetration, but the act of two energy bodies rubbing against one another and generating first heat and then enlightenment. Tantra allows for the maximization of sexual pleasure because, by doing away with guilt and fear, it breaks down the self-imposed walls that serve to separate male and female even in the sexual act."

"Tantra teaches you to worship your sexual partner and to transform the act of sex into a sacrament of love. Lovemaking is a spiritual endeavor and mystical journey. If sex is accompanied by a deep and soulful awareness, it becomes a gateway to spiritual ecstasy and heavenly consciousness."

The Kosher Sutra is all about reawakening dormant desires through prolonged time spent on the journey and Boteach has some hot, sizzling methods to accomplish this. Do check it out!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

NOTE TO SELF: Must get rid of bed frame and head board!

GR was out of town on business Tuesday night so last night we did what we always do when he returns from business trips--- we enjoyed a good romp in the bed but--- the bed. was not. good. at all. This morning I told GR, "I am ready to put the box spring and mattress directly on the floor." I can no longer stand the noise that the frame and head board make. You have to understand that this is a cheapie metal bed frame and head board that we have no business using. The only noise I want to hear when we are having sex is *us*; GR agrees. So another project is on the "to do" list for this week!

Sorry, I know that my issue with our bed frame has little to do with passionate sex but I had to come here and vent and you all just happen to be on the receiving end of my vent ;-).

Sunday, March 8, 2009

A new playroom

It has been a busy weekend here for us. GR and I swapped bedrooms with one of our daughters. When we first moved here almost five years ago we wanted a bedroom facing the street, however, most recently I made two startling discoveries.

1) We were not making the most efficient use of the upstairs closets because of the way we assigned bedrooms five years ago.

2) Off of her bedroom, daughter #1 had a decent size deck that she was not using and............ I wanted it ;-) . Her bedroom is the only one on the back side of the house.

So while she was on spring break from college this week we made a bedroom swap. What a job! But we feel it will be best for all of us. We live in a city so the deck is too close to our neighbors to really be a private spot for GR and me. Our plan is to close it in and make a sitting/lounging. OK, if you must know-- a sex play room. The deck is far away from our kids' bedrooms so it will be extremely private once we close it in.

Last night was our first time sleeping in the new bedroom. It was "exhausted" sex because we were so wiped out when we finally hit the bed ;-). Daughter #2 was already sleeping. Daughter #1 had just slipped into the bathroom to shower when I rolled over and began ravishing GR. Daughter #1 takes long showers so we had plenty of time for a good romp in the bed before she even came out of the bathroom. So our new room is officially christened.

We look forward to many passionate nights and mornings in our new room.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

How do you show love to your spouse? Do they "get it"?

You often see folks on the internet discussing how the use or absence of love languages affects their marriage. Many individuals complain that their spouse is either clueless or they just do not care enough to make a priority of expressing love through their spouse's preferred love language. I realize it is not a science and it is not always black and white clear but it goes a long way for us to show love the way our spouse receives it, otherwise, it is as if they are not receiving love at all.

Why is more consideration for love languages not given in marriages? Do you feel that individuals have a tendency to show love the way they like to receive it rather than the way their spouse needs for it to be shown? Are individuals being selfish or lazy if they do not put in the time to learn how their spouse receives love?

Is it that terribly difficult for us to cater to our spouse's preferences for receiving love? Some may say, "It is not natural for me to give love the way my spouse wants it," but is that a cop out? So it may not be natural but is it doable? Do you think individuals would feel more loved if they could better interpret the way their spouse expresses love to them? When an individual feels loved do they naturally reciprocate that love back to their spouse or not?

Sunday, March 1, 2009