Perhaps I am the only one who cannot get on TMB forum, however, if none of you can... and I hope I am not the only one, hehe... here is something for you to ponder.
Briefly share your story from the beginning of your marriage to the present. Focus on how your marriage bed began, how it might have changed for better or worse, what you believe caused the change, what you wish you had done differently and then conclude with the current status. I will share mine here to give you an idea of what I mean by “brief”.
We married almost 30 years ago. Immediately we wanted to start a family and I began refusing sex except for during times when we were TTC but we were dealing with infertility in both of us. Our of guilt I blamed the infertility on my promiscuous past. Church friends thought we had a wonderful marriage but behind closed doors I was a demanding bitch and GR felt unloved and sexually neglected.
Because I stopped taking BC at the onset of our marriage, bad periods of heavy bleeding and cramps resurfaced. Within 6-8 years I was doing 3 week cycles-- a good week, a PMS week and a period week, with the P week being so bad that I would almost pass out from the blood loss. Being naive we thought this was normal. Fifteen years into the marriage I underwent an emergency hysterectomy. The sex gate mostly stayed closed, often for years at a time.
Not to excuse my sin, I essentially lived with female/fertility issues, issues from my past and refusing issues. Food was my crutch. I slowly gained 150 pounds although I am now 25 pounds from my goal weight. In 2000 I took ownership of my sin of refusing and began earnestly praying about it but I still did not know how to change. Six years later I read Schlessinger’s book: The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands, stumbled into TMB forum and the rest is history- instantaneous change from refuser to whore. One of my biggest regrets? I wish we had gone for professional counseling early in the marriage.
What is your story?