Saturday, November 28, 2009

Being into each other

Hope your turkey day was fun, ours was! It was great to get away for a few days and see relatives but can I go on record to say-- Hotel stays are not as hot when you are simultaneously trying to visit with relatives. It is just not the same as when staying totally ALONE when you can just be into each other.

Oh and Job, we not only had a hotel wall separating us from the kids but we had a hotel wall, a hallway and another hotel wall. We strategically placed the kids across the hall from us rather than adjacent to our room. (I did not just fall off the turnip truck ;-)

That is all for now, guys. Enjoy the rest of your Thanksgiving weekend!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

What does Thanksgiving Day have to do with private bathrooms?

If I do not get back here before the weekend you guys all have a good holiday. GR, the kids and I are spending Thanksgiving Day out of town visiting relatives only we will be staying at a hotel for the two nights there, in two separate rooms- one for the kids and the other for *my husband and me*. Am I excited? You bet! Here at home all four of us share the hall bathroom so when we do a hotel stay it is like luxury for GR and me to be able to enjoy our own private bathroom. Ahhh, the simple things in life!

Today, I will be busy packing toys and things ;-). We leave in the morning. Have a happy Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

What do you do to cultivate sexual thoughts?

Do you take time in your day to think sexual thoughts about your spouse? Some of us automatically thing about these things but for those who do not, do you make a conscience effort to direct your thoughts in that direction? This really goes a long way in preparing your mind to anticipate the next sexual reunion.

A funny thing— Sometimes GR will... do things to me in bed in the mornings and then he will tell me, “I am doing this because I want you to remember me today.” Well, I ALWAYS remember him but he likes to leave me with sexual memories to ponder throughout my day.

Do you do anything throughout your day to cultivate sexual thoughts and if so, what is it that you do?

Monday, November 16, 2009

Story Telling Time

Perhaps I am the only one who cannot get on TMB forum, however, if none of you can... and I hope I am not the only one, hehe... here is something for you to ponder.

Briefly share your story from the beginning of your marriage to the present. Focus on how your marriage bed began, how it might have changed for better or worse, what you believe caused the change, what you wish you had done differently and then conclude with the current status. I will share mine here to give you an idea of what I mean by “brief”.

We married almost 30 years ago. Immediately we wanted to start a family and I began refusing sex except for during times when we were TTC but we were dealing with infertility in both of us. Our of guilt I blamed the infertility on my promiscuous past. Church friends thought we had a wonderful marriage but behind closed doors I was a demanding bitch and GR felt unloved and sexually neglected.

Because I stopped taking BC at the onset of our marriage, bad periods of heavy bleeding and cramps resurfaced. Within 6-8 years I was doing 3 week cycles-- a good week, a PMS week and a period week, with the P week being so bad that I would almost pass out from the blood loss. Being naive we thought this was normal. Fifteen years into the marriage I underwent an emergency hysterectomy. The sex gate mostly stayed closed, often for years at a time.

Not to excuse my sin, I essentially lived with female/fertility issues, issues from my past and refusing issues. Food was my crutch. I slowly gained 150 pounds although I am now 25 pounds from my goal weight. In 2000 I took ownership of my sin of refusing and began earnestly praying about it but I still did not know how to change. Six years later I read Schlessinger’s book: The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands, stumbled into TMB forum and the rest is history- instantaneous change from refuser to whore. One of my biggest regrets? I wish we had gone for professional counseling early in the marriage.

The end!

What is your story?

Sunday, November 15, 2009

What is your season?

Which season(s) is your favorite for enjoying sex? Fall is my favorite season of all followed by Winter, then Spring. Summer is my least favorite. The reason I prefer Fall over the others is because I know I get to enjoy three seasons of sex in cool/cold weather before summer roles around again. Overall, I suppose I prefer cool/cold weather for most anything but especially for sex.

So what is your favorite season?

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

What is wrong with everyone?

Are that many couples beginning their marriages with issues keeping them and their spouse sexually apart? I keep reading on the internet about couples who in the early stages of marriage begin struggling with sex. What is wrong with everyone? How come more couples are not going into marriage being equipped to be sexually generous spouses? Are that many immature, uninformed couples getting married? Do the parents and pastor of engaged couples not see a responsibility to train or teach these young people in what it takes to be sexually generous in their marriage bed?

And then, as if that is not enough, most of these confused young couples go for months and years fumbling around in the dark before they finally speak out but by then the story goes, "We have been married for 5 (or 10, 20, 30) years and our marriage bed has NEVER been good! What should we do?" OR.... "We have been married for 10 years (or longer) and our marriage bed was only good for the first few weeks. Please help!" Well, by then the bad habits are so cemented that it is a monumental task to undo the damage if it can EVER be undone. I get the impression that parents and pastors are telling young couples, "Hey kids, if things do not turn out as expected do not complain. Just suck it up!"

I just do not get it. Someone please help me understand this. Job, I know you and your wife train your engaged children. What is it that you have done with your kids where you see other parents and pastors missing the mark? Do tell!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

How is passionate sex like our Christian walk?

Last night GR was really tired and had to go to bed before I did. Dd#1 was concerned about her younger sister and needed to talk to me while her sister was sleeping so I stayed up a bit longer with her but then I got tired and went to bed.

Even during emotional trials you have to find ways to sexually connect or your trials will eat you for lunch. After I slept for a couple of hours I was awakened to GR caressing me, one thing led to another and before I was fully awake we were at it in a hot and heavy session which we both thoroughly enjoyed. Yes, we were tired but there are times that you have to push the sex to keep the intimate connection going.

We can always catch up sleep but it is not always easy to catch up on sex. Once left unattended the sex can quickly go downhill. In my thinking passionate sex is not too unlike our Christian walk. When life gives you a tough "row to hoe" you keep both of them going strong no matter what.

What are your absolute priorities when you have a tough row to hoe? Is passionate sex high up there on the list where it should be or is it somewhere on the bottom?

Friday, November 6, 2009

Is something wrong with me?

Do I have a boot fetish or something going on or is this normal? Just last night I was sharing with GR how buying boots has been giving me a degree of satisfaction. Since the end of September I have spent money on three new pairs of boots. Yes, you read right--- THREE PAIRS!!! Now keep in mind, we live in a climate where boots are well used three seasons out of the year. And then I recently lost a huge amount of weight so I am naturally more fashion conscience than I have been in years.

In August I bought a pair of black ankle boots.

Then from the end of September until now in a little over a month's time, I purchased:

A pair of knee high black boots

A pair of dark brown, ankle length, western boots

And a pair of red, mid-calf height, western boots . (Ooh... these red beauties just arrived in shipping. They are more hot IRL than they are online!)

I have had my snow boots, my black, Ultimate Short UGG’s, for a couple of years now.

Suddenly I am realizing that I have five pairs of boots--- YIKES!!! How did that happen? I do love all my boots and so does GR but please tell me that I am not a sicko with a boot fetish, please???


Now I have six pairs of boots. I wanted a pair of short black boots which would be more casual and comfortable than my black ankle boots with the silver buttons but would be a little nicer and not so warm for indoor use than my UGG's. Last week I got a pair of short black biker boots. They fit the bill perfectly.

Monday, November 2, 2009

How do you hang on?

OK, guys, I am just going to be real with you here. Life is just so darn hard right now for GR and me with our current parenting issues but in spite of the difficulties, he and I have such a need to stay passionately and sexually active. It is the only way that we see ourselves surviving the trials we are going through with our daughter.

Sex is the glue which keeps the flames going for GR and me. Yes, emotional intimacy is important and we are having to hold on to our spirituality, of course, but the sex is that which keeps our relationship hot and heavy. Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on all our souls and help us to keep the flames burning in our marriages.

When life tries to crowd out your marital intimacy, what do you do to keep yourselves hanging on together? How do you prevent life from sucking your marriage dry? How do you pray for your marriage? Can you trust God while you are in the furnace? Is God bigger than your trials or do you allow your trials to overtake your life? If you don't trust God, where do you place your trust?