Thursday, October 22, 2009

"To despair is to turn your back on God." (Marilla Cuthbert in Anne of Green Gables)

This morning I was reminded of a scene in the film "Anne of Green Gables". Anne Shirley is beside herself over something that happened to her. As she and Marilla Cuthbert are heading upstairs in their home Anne is in tears and tells Marilla, "Can't you even IMAGINE you're in the depths of despair?" Marilla in her 'no-nonsense' way replies, "No I cannot. To despair is to turn your back on God."

Yesterday I had an extremely productive meeting with bipolar dd's counselor. I walked into her office feeling the beginnings of despair and walked out with a renewed trust in God. GR has been out of town on business since Tuesday morning. I cannot wait to share with him what I learned when talking with the counselor.

Confession---

GR and I were on the phone late last night. Both of us have been running on raw nerves these days. In his half-asleep mode, he said something to me that was very much on the snippy side. Well, I was so shocked at his words that I immediately got quiet for a few seconds, realized that I had a strong desire to verbally retaliate in like manner, excused myself and......... I hung up on him. GASP!!!!! Yeah, I know, I know, a childish thing to do but I did it and it is done. It was either that or engage in an ugly argument so I chose the lesser of two evils.

Only a few minutes after I hung up on him he realized how his words had affected me and he tried to call me back on my cell. I could not pick up. He tried again to get through on my cell. Again, I could not pick up. Finally he called on the house phone and by then I was calmed down enough to talk so I answered the phone and we talked it out.

Looking forward to having GR back home....

15 comments:

Who am I said...

Glad you and GR got back on track. Thanks for being honest with us about the bump in the road.

Thankful for the good news about your daughter.

Hiswildcherry46 said...

Hey Gemma,

I thank God for the laborer He sent across your path with wisdom for your particular situation,your counselor!
In a secular situation, you could have seen this professional on a down day when all they could have told you would have been thwarted by their personal interpretations BUT God saw to it that you were enlightened and encouraged in your journey, on behalf of your daughter. I praise God for His tender mercies towards you.

Hiswildcherryness is wondering...What is THE one thing that you have been fantacizing about lately that has been put on hold as you have nurtured your darling child?
Wildcherry wonders, can you make that fantasy a reality for yourself this weekend? Can you see outside of the box of flustered mother hen to allow yourself to enter into that desire?
Wildcherry wonders if you could embrace the momentum and become excited about the possibility of making your dream real?
Wonder of wonders if you could get sssoooo buzzed that GR went for the ride, too.
Feedback not required but having an all out,full throttled,sexual encounter is ;-) HWC naughty grin.

Lisa said...

That is great news about your meeting with the counselor, Gemma!!

Hanging up on GR? Glad you were able to talk it out. Amen

Gemma said...

Thanks, guys. HWC, there is honestly nothing that I've been fantasizing about lately that we haven't been doing. Nothing sexual has slowed down for us. It's just that we've noticed that occasionally it's been a little more challenging for us to get things started but we've been pushing through it, in spite of things.

Ancient Mariner said...

I see this as a good thing (not the hanging up part, but the choosing not to fight.) A similar thing happened between my dw and I recently, and like you, she chose not to fight. It made me realize what I was doing, so we "made up" even before the fight really got going.

I have noticed that more frequent lovemaking helps us to be more open with each other, and that makes it easier to keep these situations from developing into something unnecessarily vitriolic. And I think women, who are more caring and loving (only my opinion) than us hot-headed guys, are better at this than we are.

Gemma said...

I agree, AM. Frequent sex in the marriage does help when an argument is brewing.

Hiswildcherry46 said...

Hi Gemma,
Great to hear you are fine.

Fantasies help me. I am inclined to shut down my wildness when things are not going well since it is easier to maintain than to push during tougher times.

Therefore, I spark myself with sensual daydreams to freshen my thinking towards my husband. I purposely read romance novels/listen to sensual music/etc. and think sex. I work hard at catching his attention even though he is bleary eyed and maxed. He sponges up my attention and appreciates my efforts to help him desire me!

Addressing the 'pushing through, in spite of things'...we have different ways of keeping our love juices flowing.

Although you have posted about this before, many of us are going through all manner of life happenings. I find it interesting to hear how different couples stir themselves out of a sexual doldrum and into passionate encounters with each other. HWC curiosity ;-)

Gemma said...

GR and I are both equally drawn to sex when other areas of our lives take us down bumpy roads. It is one of the few times that stress doesn't get to us. We're able to use sex as 'an escape' from stress, if you will. This is when my dh and I often find ourselves using that phrase, "I just need a good f*ck!" :-)... because we know it will drive the stress away.

job29man said...

Gemma,

Sounds to me like you need a good spanking.

GR should probably take you over his knee. (wink!)

Hiswildcherry46 said...

Job29man,
Have seriously thought it over but can't get why Gemma needs a good spanking!
I went to the one site, recommended a while ago within Gemma's posts, and roamed around regarding the authors' marriage-spanking lifestyle.
I came away really disheartened and had to discuss the findings with my husband; the pros and cons. He was not impressed with what the posters had to say on that site.
I know I am entirely adored and respected by my man. He might playfully give me a booty smack in the kitchen if I am being flirty and cheeky but to really spank me...he does not understand the get off on that one and neither do I. Trying to understand!

Gemma said...

What marriage-spanking site was that, HWC? Not "domestic discipline" I hope?

job29man said...

HWC,

I said Gemman may need GR to give her a good spanking, just because I know she has indicated that light spanking sometimes is a turn on for her.

Job

Hiswildcherry46 said...

Job,
Got it..thx.
:-)

Hiswildcherry46 said...

Sorry Gemma, thought I had posted a reply. The site was "Taken in Hand".
Checked out the "Domestic Discipline" site...high pitched squeal as HWC runs in the opposite direction.

I didn't even get a swat (after getting carried away posting here), when my man asked me to make him a coffee and I forgot...husbandly disbelief at my negligence.
As usual, I am forgiven as soon as I apologize and follow up on his request.
Better discipline than anything else for me; act hurt that I forgot you and I come undone at my selfishness!! He's got it down after 24 years ;-)

Gemma said...

Yeah, that Domestic Discipline site is a scary place. I haven't been to the Taken in Hand site much but the little I've seen it, it is totally different from DD.