Monday, October 26, 2009

Slow Dancing vs. Jumping Bones

Do you always "jump bones" when you get in bed with your spouse or do you sometimes take a more subtle, laid back approach? GR and I have times where we jump each others bones and race towards the destination of orgasms because we cannot get there fast enough. Then we have other times where we are deliberately subtle and slow-moving in a way which I feel can also be, oh, so hot and highly erotic. Most people are well aware of the bone-jumping approach to sex, however, if you were watching a couple go through the subtle approach it could almost be described as two people who are not at all interested in having sex. Such a couple could look like they are simply tired and going to bed OR.... it could look like a couple who possibly might be interested in having vanilla sex. Ahhh, but the discerning eye and the discerning mind can see beyond the surface of what seems to be the beginnings of sleep or vanilla sex and understand that this couple is moving into an intricate, erotic, sensual “dance”.

How does this dance work and why would a couple choose this approach? When my husband and I do the slow dance it is because we want to savor every moment. Some of our most intense O’s result from the slow dance of long foreplay. Typically, the slower we go, the longer we O! What has been your experience? Do you sometimes jump bones? Do you also find yourself being drawn towards the slow dance? Does your preferred method depend on your mood or does it occasionally depend on other things? Can you tell the difference between your spouse wanting to slow dance from when he/she is really not thinking sex at all? If your spouse is not interested, which approach do you most often use to entice him/her?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Slow dance is vital for intense O's. We love taking our time with long bouts of foreplay, enjoying every part of our bodies.

Then there are the time when she bends over and lets me take her.

Hiswildcherry46 said...

Will post later but had to tell you, Gemma, you truly have a way with words. I love the way you present ideas with just the right amount of titillation, then space, for mental imagery.
You're talented, lady. I appreciate your gifted writing. Plugging for your book visions ;-)

Hiswildcherry46 said...

My husband is too stressed to just get into it and jump bones. Nonetheless,I have made it my mission to be ready for him, whenever! I invade his body space all the time. He loves it.

I do feel that we dance a sensual dance every time we make love. Strangely enough, this 'bob and weave' has comforted me for years since he does not like dancing and I miss the flirting and romance aspect of it.
I asked him if he ever thought of our sex in a dance like manner...nope. We are polar opposites!

Mood is something we work at creating by separating ourselves from our roles as parents,physically and mentally. Music plays a huge role in my life so he plays music we both love during our times together. We were so very religious all of our marriage and are learning about different aspects of each other! He is a really cool guy and I fascinate him no end '-)

Can you tell the difference between your spouse wanting to slow dance from when he/she is really not thinking sex at all?
Both of us are pretty complicated in our relationship so sometimes get it right and sometimes wrong. We focus on giving as we misread each other often.

If your spouse is not interested, which approach do you most often use to entice him/her?
Ashamed to confess but I mourn and pout and act forsaken until he takes pity on me and f..ks the daylights out of me to restore my faith in his love.

Ok now I am blushing..

scotty said...

I love both and there's a time for both. It's both being on the same page at the same time that can sometimes be tricky.

Sometimes I almost like to "play hard to get". Not pushing him away or anything, but just kind of lie there and let him work a little before I really visibly respond. He doesn't seem to mind putting in the extra 'work' and I love the extra attention. The level of orgasm for us is not really affected either way. His orgasm is always stronger when a few days have gone by. My level of orgasm totally depends on how I come by it - kwim?
Short answer - both are favorites! :)