On marriage forums you always hear wives complain of their husbands lack in the romance department. You hear comments such as:
"I do not feel loved."
"He does not care about me."
"All he thinks about is sex."
"He will not put out any effort to romance me."
"He is selfish."
"He will not take time to come up with creative ideas."
"He says he is not creative enough."
"He says he is too busy, tired, or stressed for romance."
"He is ------- . " (Fill in the blank.)
"He says ------- ." (Fill in the blank.)
Wives instinctively voice their opinions when their husbands fall short with the romance and everyone tells them, "He should be romancing you. Make him do it," (my paraphrase). Why are husbands often told that it is wrong to demand, suggest or even expect a healthy marriage bed? Is there a double standard here? Is it OK for a wife to selfishly withhold sex but if a husband is stingy with romance, then he is an inconsiderate, uncaring, selfish husband?
Before someone brings this up, I will mention it here---
What about in situations where there is emotional sickness from a wife's past? Should that give her a "free ticket" to withhold sex? I have not recently checked the stats but from what I read on marriage forums, it seems that there could easily be some 40-60% of married women suffering from emotional issues stemming from their past. If they were all given free tickets, that would mean that about half of all married women would have "excusable reasons" for withholding sex. NOT!!!
How do you feel about insisting on a wife receiving professional help when there is emotional trauma preventing her from enjoying a healthy marriage bed? Is it good to insist on professional help for physical sickness out of love for that spouse? Would it not be equally as good to insist on professional help for emotional sickness? Why or why not?
And I will add that there is nothing wrong with a husband seeking professional help in the romance department if help is, indeed, needed.