Saturday, September 26, 2009

Define "normal frequency"!

What makes a person wake up in the middle of the night starving for sex? At least not on a regular basis most of us do not do this but what triggers that behavior? The times that GR and I woke each other for sex it was not because we were sex-starved. Take yesterday for example--- We had sex yesterday morning and again around 9pm last night before going to sleep. This morning by 3am I was awake and horny so I woke GR and we enjoyed another romp. He does the same if he wakes during the night and will reach over to me to get things going.

So what is the deal? How can a person have sex twice in a day and then wake from sleep six hours later needing more sex? Is this simply normal behavior as a result of being high-SD? For those whose spouse does not appreciate being woken--- If you could do it, would you? I would like to think that this is normal sexual desire and behavior, that sex should be as natural and as frequent as eating and sleeping. On second thought, I take that back. Every four hours I usually eat something so maybe sex should be as natural as sleeping ;-)?

My husband and I have been doing this dance for almost three years now and it is still somewhat of a mystery to me. He and I came downstairs at 6am for coffee and since I woke him from sleep I asked, "Are you still tired?" "A little," he says. "You know," I tell him with a mischievous tone in my voice, "We could skip some of our morning and nightly romps and then we would get more sleep?" His reply, "So! Is that what you would want to do?" "No," I tell him. No more words were needed. Our exchanged looks said it all. He and I will continue cutting into our sleep for what we consider to be normal frequency until one or both of us decide that it is NOT normal. For now, neither of us foresee that happening anytime soon.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Is it EVER easy to be apart?

I just wanted to pop in here to say that I really, REALLY miss my husband. He left Tuesday morning for a business trip and will not be back until tomorrow evening (ie, Thursday). We go through this every couple of weeks but it never becomes easy to be apart. Those of you who are fortunate to have your spouse with you, enjoy being sexually intimate together. End of my whiny pity party. Thank you for putting up with me.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

If marital romance is necessary, why not marital sex?

On marriage forums you always hear wives complain of their husbands lack in the romance department. You hear comments such as:

"I do not feel loved."
"He does not care about me."
"All he thinks about is sex."
"He will not put out any effort to romance me."
"He is selfish."
"He will not take time to come up with creative ideas."
"He says he is not creative enough."
"He says he is too busy, tired, or stressed for romance."
"He is ------- . " (Fill in the blank.)
"He says ------- ." (Fill in the blank.)

Wives instinctively voice their opinions when their husbands fall short with the romance and everyone tells them, "He should be romancing you. Make him do it," (my paraphrase). Why are husbands often told that it is wrong to demand, suggest or even expect a healthy marriage bed? Is there a double standard here? Is it OK for a wife to selfishly withhold sex but if a husband is stingy with romance, then he is an inconsiderate, uncaring, selfish husband?

Before someone brings this up, I will mention it here---

What about in situations where there is emotional sickness from a wife's past? Should that give her a "free ticket" to withhold sex? I have not recently checked the stats but from what I read on marriage forums, it seems that there could easily be some 40-60% of married women suffering from emotional issues stemming from their past. If they were all given free tickets, that would mean that about half of all married women would have "excusable reasons" for withholding sex. NOT!!!

How do you feel about insisting on a wife receiving professional help when there is emotional trauma preventing her from enjoying a healthy marriage bed? Is it good to insist on professional help for physical sickness out of love for that spouse? Would it not be equally as good to insist on professional help for emotional sickness? Why or why not?

And I will add that there is nothing wrong with a husband seeking professional help in the romance department if help is, indeed, needed.

Friday, September 4, 2009

A Reader's Favorite- Piercings & Permanent Tattoos on Wives (Wait, don't go away! This is not all we discuss here.)

One of my readers wanted to know---

What do wives think about getting a permanent body modification such as a piercing or a permanent tattoo which would serve as a reminder of their pledge of submission to their husband? Wives, would you consider it if your husband asked you to do it? Husbands, would your wife consider it if you asked her? Have you wives considered offering this to your husband and would you ask him if he would like it even if he never brought it up?

I am not a person who thinks about piercing or permanent tattoos as they generally do not appeal to me. But if my husband asked me to have it done, I would do it in a heartbeat. My only request would be to have the option of having it done in a private area on my body where only he and I would be able to see it. I would also consider asking my husband if this is something that he would be interested in having me do. My husband has no piercings or tattoos so I would be surprised if he expressed desire to have me get one but you never know about these things, do you?

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Please share your thoughts with me!

Some of you may have noticed that I have not been writing as much as usual lately. Please accept my apologies for that. Part of the reason-- I have been taking some time to try and get my thoughts organized so I can begin writing a book. It will most likely be a memoir. As I have been contemplating what I want to include in this book I have also wondered what would benefit my readers the most.

A big part of my life prior to marriage was my promiscuous lifestyle. And then most of my marriage to date has been about me being a refusing wife, my sexual awakening and what has taken place since my awakening.

If you were going to read a book that I write, what things would you most like to see in it? What have you not seen in any other books that you would like to see in mine? I do not want to waste time writing material that is already "out there", you know? Are there any specific things about my past that you would find beneficial for you and for your own marriage? Are there any probing questions which you would like to see me expand on in a book?

Please do not be shy, I really want to hear your feedback on this. Share your thoughts with me so I can better share mine with you as I begin writing this book. Thank you.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Like my new boots?

Like my new Eric Michael Soho boots? I ordered them in black and plan to wear them mainly with casual dresses and skirts as a walking boot (ie, the short heel). This pair of Think! Aida's was my first choice but they sold out of black in my size so I settled for my #2 choice.

OK, now be honest. Since I'm in my 50's do they look too youngish for someone my age? Too old-fashioned? Too kinky? I was shooting for a slightly kinky, sexy, comfortable, walking boot but don't want to look like I'm trying to relive my 20' or 30's, kwim? ;-)