Thursday, August 27, 2009

Spousal Accountability vs. Male Dominance/Female Submission

These are two related yet distinctive concepts. Let me try and explain my thoughts about this. Do you feel that both husbands and wives should be spiritually accountable to each other? GR and I do practice mutual, spiritual accountability. Do you have a teachable spirit? When your spouse brings up a grievance do you stop and listen to them and take their words to heart OR... do you find yourself rolling your eyes and changing the subject or walking away to avoid talking about it? As we all fall short in different ways, what methods do you generally use to grow in your own weak areas?

If you practice spousal accountability, how does it play out in your marriage bed? This is where it can become tricky, in knowing how to mesh the two.

A personal goal of mine is to become a total submissive in my marriage bed for my dominant husband with his requests and commands to the point where he says "jump" and I ask "how high, Sir?" How should this play out in your marriage relationship in light of mutual accountability? If a wife wants to be totally submissive in the marriage bed how should she approach her husband if there is something she needs to address in his behavior outside the marriage bed? I realize that not all couples want this much dom/sub in their marriage bed relationship but if you prefer female submission to any degree, how do you make the distinction between a wife being sexually submissive and a couple being spiritually accountable to each other?

Am I making sense? If not, feel free to ask questions for clarity.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Brief Announcement- HELP!

For some 6 months or longer, a stupid, stupid person I know (moi) has been saving a large amount of important marriage bed information in an Outlook "Draft". At some point in the last 1-2 days I must have accidentally deleted it which would not have been so bad except that since then, I emptied my "Trash" file so to my knowledge this Draft is gone.

I only discovered the tragedy last night and it practically brought me to tears. Does anyone know of a way to retrieve an emptied Trash file?.. that is, without having to purchase a $100 program to do it? Oh, and I'm using Mozilla Thunderbird.

Gemma, who has been kicking herself in the hiney for being so careless!

Edited to add:

It appears that because I had this information stored in a "draft" rather than an actual "file" it cannot be retrieved. GR came home for lunch and followed the advice you posted, Mariner. I can kiss it good-bye. The "draft" is lost. But thank you anyway for trying to help. Now I have even more incentive to get my "saved" information in order so I will not have to live through this again.

For those of you who have kindly posted or emailed me links for harnesses, books, what have you... you all know who you are... if it's possible, could you please email the info to me again? I would be so grateful.

One of you, I will not mention your name, has a copy of my list of sex books which I was going to purchase. Could you please send me a copy of my book list? Thanks.

Gemma, going to have a pity party!

Does appearance matter to you and your spouse?

How important is weight/fitness, grooming and clothing/shoe styles to you and your spouse? Have either of you changed anything about your appearance in recent years? What was the motivation? Did it alter the way you or your spouse felt about each other and if so, in what ways? Do you feel that changes in appearance are good for couples of all ages or do you feel that they are only for the young? Between you and your spouse, which of you is affected the most by visual appeal in each other? Do either of you resist giving in when requested to change something about your appearance? What does it say to you when you see a couple who do not seem to care about their looks? What about when you see a couple who do seem to care?

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

A Couple of Quick Notes

If you look at my list entitled "Books From My Home Library" in the right sidebar, near the bottom, you will see that I have some 6-7 new books on the list marked with the word *NEW* written after them. Just wanted to mention that for those interested in knowing what my brain feeds on to get it the way it is (ie, quirky). IOW- Read at your own risk ;-).

For those interested in "slave" jewelry--

GR and I wanted to get me a slave chain link collar with a padlock. The ones we saw on the internet ran from $12-20, which we were willing to pay but we decided to make one instead.

So this evening we went shopping at Lowe's and found a really cool stainless steel chain (no rusting) that we felt was perfect so we purchased the length we needed. Then we found this teeny tiny black and silver padlock with the word "MASTER" written on it. How appropriate for the brand name since this collar signifies GR being my master.

Total cost of this piece of jewelry-- $6. I love the look but I had to tease GR after we purchased the stuff, "Big spender you are on my jewelry, huh?" We plan on purchasing more materials from Lowe's and Home Depot in the future for other homemade marriage bed items.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

A Reader's Favorite- Submissive/Dominant Talk and Dress

OK, folks, here is a favorite that I love. A reader wrote and shared this with me---

He said that he likes to hear his wife address him as "master" or "lord", speaking to him as a slave woman saying things like, "How may I please my master today?" "Would my lord please his handmaiden by licking my cunt?" This reader added that he really loves to go out in public with his wife dressed very conservatively to the public eye while underneath, have her dressed as his "whore".

He said that this kind of talk and dress sends him into orbit! I have to admit-- It sends me into orbit, too. I love to be forced to behave as a submissive slave, secretly treated as my husband's "whore" or "slut". Being told what to do, when to do it, and forbidden to do other things, has a certain element of humiliation that is exciting and even erotic. And I love to secretly dress as a slut underneath when we go out. Of course, I am a bedroom submissive with my dh by nature so this is easy and fun for me.

Do any of you enjoy being "master" or "slave" to your spouse in your marriage bed? When I say "in your marriage bed" here, I mean not only in your bedroom but anywhere that you enjoy sexual intimacies. What does this do for your marriage? Do you and your spouse equally enjoy this? Or is it one-sided where your spouse is not aware of your attraction to it or... your spouse is just not interested in playing along? Do you or your spouse think this is wrong and if so, for what reasons?

If you are the dominant husband, what sort of things do you demand or forbid of your submissive wife? If you are the sub wife, what things do you most enjoy that your dom husband demands or forbids of you? If you happen to be a dominant wife or a submissive husband, I am very sorry but you are at the wrong website..... just kidding. But seriously, we may attempt to get you to switch to the more traditional dom husband, sub wife roles so if that bothers you, then you REALLY ARE at the wrong website ;-).

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

A Reader's Favorite- What you see is NOT what you get!

One of my readers is into "fooling the public". Let me explain.

This reader wrote to me and shared an idea that he and his wife enjoy. He likes to take his wife to a distant city where no one knows them and then they behave in a more daring manner while there. He tells her what to wear and it is often an ultra-conservative outfit to "fool the public". They will go out shopping or to dinner and his wife will behave very submissive and subservient to him. Underneath her conservative appearance she will have a shaven pussy and/or objects 'hidden' in her pussy. On her thighs and breasts she will have temporary tattoos which say things like "I'm your bitch" or "I suck cock" or "It's not going to lick itself". He says the contrast is so erotic for him. What the world sees on the surface is totally different from what is underneath.

Is it arousing for you and your spouse to go out on the town with hidden sexual 'secrets' between you? If you have never done this, would your spouse be open to discussing the possibility of doing this with you? Why or why not? How would you like to see this sort of thing played out with your spouse? What would you show in the way you dress? What would you "hide" underneath? Do you think this sort of play would change the dynamics of your time spent out in public? Do you think this sort of play would bump up the eroticism in your relationship?