Thursday, July 9, 2009

A Reader's Favorite-- If you had your way, what would your birthday wish be?

One of my readers wanted to see this as a blog topic. What would you ask for if you could have anything at all from your spouse for your birthday? Be specific with your answers.

On second thought, let us make this even more interesting because I do not want to hear, "I would ask for this or that but my spouse probably would not give it to me." If you can think of three things, list the top three gifts you would like to receive from your spouse. Here is the deal--- Whatever you ask for, your spouse will enthusiastically give it to you. There would be no limitations at all so whatever you ask, you will receive. (This is kind of like having a genie in a bottle, huh?) Feel free to reveal or not reveal whether or not you think your spouse would actually deliver your birthday requests.


midwestman said...

1) Her to flirt with me sexually.

2) Once a week she initiates sex using different methods such as whispering in my ear and telling me EXACTLY what she wants to do, greeting me at the door naked, etc. or just looking me in the eyes and telling me she wants me.

3) Comfortably talk about sex - how she feels, what she likes, etc.

I don't think any of these birthday gifts will be given :(


Mark 9:24 said...

This is almost like the Fantasy posts.

1) To initate sex.

2) To record us having sex (which she has no problem with) and then to watch it with me, enjoy what she is seeing, get turned on by what she is seeing, and we have sex again while watching the recording of ourselves.
(she cannot stand to see either pics or video of us having sex)

3)To wake me up with her giving me a blow job.

Mark 9:24

Gemma said...

Have any of you ever tried writing down a birthday wish list and *accidentally* leave it hanging around some where in the bedroom where your spouse will see it but the kids won't?

That way they see the list but there's no pressure to deliver. It leaves the ball in their court to decide whether or not to grant your wishes.

Mark 9:24 said...

I have never thought of that.

Only 6 months until my Birthday!

Gemma said...

Yeah, I guess you could say this is kind of like fantasies but we're talking about birthday wishes, exclusively.

My birthday wishes--- GR already fulfills all my sexual wishes so my birthday wishes would probably be physical gifts for our marriage bed like these.

Leather bit gag,

Steel suspension bar,

A black leather collar, though I haven't decided which one. Maybe something like this: or this: or this: along with a black leash similar to this:

I'm counting those 4 items as 3 birthday wishes and I'm sticking to my story ;-).

Mark 9:24 said...

A bit-gag eh?
Are you looking at being a pony girl? ;-)

I like the look of the link & lock collar.

Gemma said...

no pony girl for me, thank you very much! I also noticed and admired that link and lock collar. Only thing, I wonder if it would be durable to withstand being yanked by a leash? I'd hate to wear it with the leash only to have the links break under pressure. What do you think? I mean, it's nice for looks and I may buy it just for looks but would it be strong enough for leash use?

M_K1980 said...

Without looking at what others posted, here I go...

1) Oral without ever asking
2) Sailing nude and ML on our sailboat.
3) Sexual play and flashing me in public.

Gemma, again thanks for a great blog site.

Mark 9:24 said...

If you want a link and lock collar that will really last, all you have to do is go to Home Depot and get the parts.
They carry a lot of different kinds of chain. From decorative to lift up your car.

Gemma said...

Birthdays only come once a year so we might as well formulate a birthday wish list and make sure our spouse sees it well in advance so they can get a gift(s) ready.

Gemma said...

I never even thought about making one. What would you use for a fastener? I suppose HD sells parts for that too?

Mark 9:24 said...

They have lots of kinds of fasteners.
You and GR should go there on a "shopping trip" and browse the chain aisle. ;-)

Gemma said...

I guess we'll have to hit the "man toy store". We could probably make a suspension bar as well, huh?

Mark 9:24 said...

Yes. suspension and spreader bars are easy to make from materials found at the HD.

Dani said...

My first thought was time away together. We have little guys, so while we do get a lot of playtime together, we don't get long extended time away.

Second, would be an Esse. Really want one and will get one once a few things are taken care of.

Third, hmmmm, I think it would be for my hubby to be more aggressive with me. I tend to be the person who plans/arranges/organizes almost everything in our lives (you do this or go here, I am doing that...etc). I'd love him to treat me like a slave. It isn't in his nature to be as assertive as I want him to be, in this way. We have talked about it and he is working on it, but it feels a little funny to him. It works when I immediately obey, but if I push back at all, he gives up. It is new to us, so I am sure we just have to get used to the idea of him not treating me so kindly :)

Gemma said...

Dani, my dh used to be more polite and unassertive in bed because that was his natural personality. And then the other part of the problem was me being too controlling in the bedroom so I had to learn how to back waaaaaay off to allow room for my dh to be master of our marriage bed. Once we began really communicating our sexual needs and desires things quickly heated up in our bedroom.

RaT Babies said...

11 days to my birthday...

The list is formulated & has been left in an obvious place in our bedroom.

Whats on it? Not saying yet!

scotty said...

1)An empty house once a week to have loud, screaming O's

2)Dh to come up with creative date ideas all on his own, plan them and surprise me once a month.

3) Unlimited budget to buy all the toys and sex furniture we'd like.

Hiswildcherry46 said...

-my husband to agree about getting a vibe. (still unsure which is best for beginners?) He cannot get his head around this idea and I know I would go ballistic. Part of his hesitation is that I am already a wild woman so he cannot imagine me getting 'buzzed on'. I honestly think he is a bit scared. LOL.

-for us to do a boudoir shoot together. He is a tech whizz so could lock our photos up for eternity!! He is reluctant which translates in my female brain into him not thinking I am hot enough to take photos of. He denies that but actions speak louder than words. I'm working on him ;-)

-A weekend away somewhere with a private hottub, gorgeous scenery and him in a 'all sex, all weekend' mood. Oh yeah...

The Groom said...

Help. I'm trying not to visualize Bill the Cat and Melina Kinakaredes (sp?) standing together at Home Depot, helping each other decide on what chains and fasteners would work for their own dungeons. "Now Gemma," he would say, "I know you're worried about breakage, but this locking carabener is more than strong enough to support your weight when hooked though this chandalier eyelet, provided it's drilled into a beam."

Poor associate better not ask what she will be using the chain for.

Hmmmm...birthday wishes:

1. Enthusiastic OS to completion (with or without swallowing; I think I'd like a show first)

2. A few days at Jade Mountain Resort in St. Lucia (if we could afford it, we'd go!)

3. Some new blatant display of her sexual passion that I haven't seen before or even often. It would have to be something she's not comfortable with yet, but would take a chance for the first time.

That is, if we're talking sexual gifts. In regards to physical gifts, I wouldn't mind a nice triathlon bike, tri wetsuit and bike jersey. She's generous enough to support my training and racing anyway, but this would be over the top. I love that woman. She's so good to me.

Gemma said...

bunnyhunch wrote in to say:

My birthday wish list:
1. I love romance and wearing sexy lingerie. A a beautiful, sensuous bra/panty/garter belt ensemble from secretsinlace would be delightful.

2. Nipple clamps, thigh cuffs, and collar with D-ring,to be worn on a hot night of light bondage (preferably after we purchase a Liberator Black Label ramp/wedge combo or Esse). To make this gift REALLY special, DH must dig waaaay down deep inside and pull out some seriously naughty desires, being completely free himself to use me for his pleasure. THAT would be fun.

3. I'd love to enact a "sex with a stranger" fantasy. We've had a great deal of fun coming up with details for various scenarios!

The chances that any or all of these wishes would be carried out are pretty darned good. In fact, I don't know why all three couldn't be combined. I could wear the sexy lingerie setup under a little black dress while I sip a cocktail at a hotel bar in a big city nearby. A tall, dark, & handsome guy could spot this sexy and eligible 40-something woman, mildly apprehensive at first, and buy her a drink. One thing would lead to another and, unable to resist his suave advances, she would take the room key he slipped on the table while she was in the powder room, and take him up on his subtle invitation. She would join him for a night of total, unexpected and unbridled sex, in ways she never before imagined were possible. It had certainly never been like that before her awakening!

In the morning he would, of course, have a dozen roses delivered to the hotel room and pay in advance for her breakfast. She will need the sustenance after their wild night together.

Shoot. I don't think I mentioned the dozen roses to Mr. BH. Hope he doesn't mind.

Did I mention I like romance?

luvmygirls said...

Nice, BH! Nice!

Picturing my bride and I in that very scenario!

On another note, a few days ago as we were warming up for a good, strong romp, she mentioned the dangling nipple and clitoral jewelry that I had mentioned to her about a year ago. It was her first mention back to me. Hmmmm...

LIT56RD said...


Today is my birthday. I left the list, DW found it. Hoped to be a great day. But alas, DW has a migraine. Maybe next year.

Gemma said...

Happy birthday, LIT. Sorry to hear about your dw's migraine but what about fulfilling your wish list after her migraine is gone? Would you rather receive a gift from your list next year or.... tomorrow or next week? I know which time frame I would choose.

mission.maker said...


Yes I would rather receive from the list tomorrow or next week. However, birthday is a special occasion and about the only time I would be able to ask for something special. Unfortunately I need to constantly remind DW that I have fantasies and desires that she never thinks of. Well maybe better luck next year.

Gemma said...

I realize and agree with what you're saying. I said what I did in response to your comment about your wife having a migraine today on your birthday. I don't get headaches but if I got a migraine on my dh's birthday I'm sure it would put me out of commission that day or at least part of the day so I would offer a raincheck to deliver within the next few days and I'd be sure to deliver as promised. You shouldn't have to wait until next year because your wife had a migraine today. There is tomorrow and Saturday and Sunday. Choose one of those days and ask her to deliver a birthday surprise on one of those days.

As for your having to constantly remind your wife that you have sexual needs and desires... she doesn't need reminders. She knows perfectly well that she's not meeting your sexual needs. What she needs is an attitude adjustment. I'd strongly recommmend you reading a good marriage book together, aloud, with your wife, something that will increase the love and respect in your marriage. Here are a few that I'd recommend to read together that could help your wife---

The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands, Schlessinger

Intimate Issues, Dillow & Pintus

Sheet Music, Leman

And books that would help both of you---

For Men Only, Feldhahn

For Women Only, Feldhahn

The Five Love Languages, Chapman

The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage, Schlessinger

Be proactive and invest in a few good books to help your marriage.

bunnyhunch said...

LIT: Today is my birthday. I left the list, DW found it. Hoped to be a great day. But alas, DW has a migraine. Maybe next year.

LIT, don't settle for waiting a whole year. She may have a migraine then, too, or something else may pop up. DON'T LET IT GO!! A year is too long. If you were asking for a corporeal gift, wouldn't your wife give it to you the next day? She wouldn't make you wait, saying "Sorry! Your birthday is past now. You'll have to wait until your next birthday to open this box!"

Your birthday wishes deserve to be acknowledged and delivered. Would she really deny you the pleasure under the circumstances?

LIT56RD said...

Gemma and Bunnyhunch,

Your comments are well taken. Think I may have given an inaccurate picture of DW. I was feeling rather disappointed last evening when I wrote about waiting till next year. To be honest I was having a pitty party. Yesterday was a long day and when DW and I crawled into bed, about 11:30 pm, DW hugged and kissed me and said, "would it be OK if we postponed the birthday activities till tomorrow." My reply was a positive "Yes". My spirits were lifted quite high and got a good nights sleep.

Our sex life has improved so much over the last 18 months. I am extremely thankful for that. I, however, see any slight change or reduction in activity as an indication that we are going backwards and I began to worry and stew over that.

Gemma, the book selections are excellent. I have read all your suggestions except, For Men Only and For Women Only.

We have read Sheet Music and 5 Love Languages together. Did make a huge difference.

We have made great progress, but I tend to be rather impatient. (One of my traits I am not proud of)

Thanks for all the responses and encouragement. Tonight should be a good night.

Anonymous said...

On the subject of Migraines, I read a science/biology article about how migraines work and also related to this how sexual activity actually increases the bodies chemistry to counteract the migraine or headache.

Here's the article:

Gemma said...

I'm not surprised that sex counteracts headaches and even migraines. I've had stomach or back pain and we've gone ahead and had sex anyway. By the time we're done with each other, the pain is GONE. Sex is a wonderful pain reliever.

It always makes me wonderful about that line where the wife says, "Not tonight dear. I have a headache." If she only knew...

bunnyhunch said...

Gemma: I'm not surprised that sex counteracts headaches and even migraines...It always makes me wonder about that line where the wife says, "Not tonight dear. I have a headache." If she only knew...
Is it possible you've never had a migraine? If DH thought he'd be doing me a favor by urging me to have sex to relieve migraine pain, he'd be the one cleaning up the vomit. The last thing I'd want in the throes of a migraine is any movement at all. No sound, no anything.

I don't doubt sex can help relieve mild headaches, etc., but most migraine sufferers would beg to differ!

Gemma said...

BH, I only had a migraine one time almost 25 years ago, brought on by a medication I was taking. Typically I don't even get mild headaches.

The "Not tonight dear" comment has more to do with ordinary headaches.