Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A Reader's Favorite- Erotic Seduction

I am sure this reader is not alone in his fondness for seductive scenes. He wrote in to say:

"The subject of seduction is a good one. My wife and I went to dinner a while back. She was looking stunning. She went to the bathroom and came back with an extra button open on her shirt. It exposed just enough. We started talking about sex and each other. As we sat in the car on the way home she lifted her skirt revealing crotchless pantyhose. It drove me wild. I could barely wait until we got home.
There is something about exciting me before the act that really gets me going."

The inclusion of the word "erotic" in my article heading was my addition. I included it because 'general seduction' as many people understand it to be, has been so terribly watered down in our society that the person on the receiving end hardly feels like they are being seduced in a passionate, loving way. I am by no means a specialist in etymology but I do like to occasionally study words from Merriam-Webster, one of my favorite dictionaries. (Now I am going to sound like Toula Portokalos' dad, Gus Portokalos, in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" :-).

According to Merriam-Webster the word "erotic" comes from the root word "eros" which means:

EROS Etymology: Greek Erōs, from erōs sexual love; akin to Greek erasthai to love, desire; Date: 14th century
1: the Greek god of erotic love 2: the sum of life-preserving instincts that are manifested as impulses to gratify basic needs, as sublimated impulses, and as impulses to protect and preserve the body and mind 3: love conceived by Plato as a fundamental creative impulse having a sensual element boften not capitalized : erotic love or desire

The word "seduction" comes from the root "seduce" which Merriam-Webster defines as:

SEDUCE Etymology: Late Latin seducere, from Latin, to lead away, from se- apart + ducere to lead; Date: 15th century
1 : to persuade to disobedience or disloyalty 2 : to lead astray usually by persuasion or false promises 3 : entice to sexual intercourse

In my simple thinking TO SEDUCE simply means "to lead towards sexual intercourse". Yawn-- hum-drum! Folks, anyone can seduce another person or seduce many people. But TO EROTICALLY SEDUCE means "to lead towards sexual intercourse with love and desire in order to gratify and preserve the basic needs of body, mind and spirit".

Husbands, if your wife enjoyed exhibiting an attitude of erotic seduction, would you be able to enjoy her behaving like a "bad girl" with you or would it scare you as a husband? I ask because some husbands say they want this but if their wife develops a seductive attitude it can rattle the husband out of fear and insecurity that their good-girl-wife may be turning bad (ie, Madonna/whore complex). The flip side is when husbands learn to erotically seduce their wives. If you are a wife would this scare you or turn you off? Would you be able to embrace and encourage your husband's erotic seductions and feel treasured in body, mind and spirit or would it make you feel used and abused?

Another way of putting this--- Husbands and wives, would you rather your spouse exhibit mild affections towards you so you can remain conservative and respectful around them the way you were taught to be around the opposite sex when you were growing up or.... would you like to break through that mold and become the tiger-husband or wife that God intended for you to be? Do you sometimes confuse erotic seduction for your spouse with ungodly, sinful behavior? What is holding you back from enjoying erotic seduction in your marriage bed?

As a side note--- It is challenging to find much of substance on the internet pertaining to the Madonna/whore complex but I am posting the following two links to give you a little something to read about it. If you desire to learn more you are welcome to do your own search and post comments to this article with links included.

Urban Dictionary

Wikipedia

15 comments:

Who am I said...

I would love to be erotically seduced by my wife.

I would love how to erotically seduce her, in a way that she would enjoy.

so blessed said...

Don't know much about the Madonna/whore complex. At first I thought you were talking about the singer and some of her outfits! lol!

But so far as erotic seduction and DW being a "bad girl," we are definitely with you there. When she is good, she is GOOD. But when she is bad, she is REALLY GOOD!

Gemma said...

Reminds me of that story line, "When she was good she was very very good but when she was bad she was horrid!" lol (What story was that? I forget.)

Anonymous said...

Ladies,

Have you got any advice on how we can seduce our DW's. What sort of things would excite you?

job29man said...

There was a little girl.
With a golden curl,
right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good,
she was very, very good.

But when she was bad she was horrid.

Gemma said...

Anon asked, "Have you got any advice on how we can seduce our DW's. What sort of things would excite you?"

Everyone's so different. I'm pretty easy to seduce. There are a number of ways that GR seduces me.

-making seductive comments when not in the bedroom

-leaning against me 'front to front', gazing into my eyes while talking, sliding a finger around cleavage/breasts

-coming up behind me and grinding his manhood against against my ass while whispering in my ear. (I am his f* toy when he does this one.)

-just staring at my body in an *indecent* ;-) way while talking to me.

-saying "let's go to bed"

-spooning in bed while saying "let's just sleep for now and have sex later". I have no self control and neither does he. When we say we're going to put off sex that way, we keep spooning and next thing we know we're having sex.

-resting his hand/arm on my breast or between my legs while he's either sleeping or half asleep.

-resting his erect penis around my vulva and esp at my vaginal opening for a few minutes without trying to penetrate while we are just kissing and caressing.

-hand up the dress or skirt while we're out. (That's why I usually go 'commando'.)

-shoving me and pinning me against a wall while he's feeling a cop, French kissing me, ripping my clothes off. (It's the frantic 'gotta have you now' that is exciting.)

-ordering me to undress or to lay a certain way or to stand a certain way or to bend over a certain way. Being ordered by him to do anything for sexual reasons is hot.

Do these ideas help you any? If I think of more, I'll come back and add them. Ladies, what excites you?

Gemma said...

Yes, Job, that's it (smacking forehead). It was a poem, not a story.

Sensuous Wife said...

Gemma, you sexy wife, you! I have tagged you in a meme and I cannot wait to hear what you have to say.

You can read the meme here
http://sensuouswife.blogspot.com/2009/05/five-sexy-things-about-me-meme.html
and let me know when you post yours. Will be a challenge for you to limit yourself to five!~Shula

bunnyhunch said...

Gemma: -ordering me to undress or to lay a certain way or to stand a certain way or to bend over a certain way. Being ordered by him to do anything for sexual reasons is hot.This is one of my favorites! It is so out of character for my dh that when he is being bold like this, I melt. This is a new thing for him, & I love it! Actually, he did it just last night, then promptly bound me to the bed... ;)

Something new I did to seduce him recently was to wear a lacy garter belt with black hose and stilettos. The rest of the outfit - a longer black skirt and top - was pretty conservative. He had commented awhile ago that he didn't think a garter belt would do much for him, but I proved him wrong. Once I gave him a peek (in a store parking lot) of what was under my skirt, he got that evil twinkle in his eye and a crooked smile on his face. I felt so hot in that outfit! It completely changed the way I walked and moved and set the tone for the rest of our date.

Our conversation at dinner never left the topic of our sexual adventures, probably much to the chagrin of nearby diners, but we weren't in family mode; we were 110% in lover mode. I kept one foot in his crotch the whole time, too.

It felt very good to be so bad.

luvmygirls said...

I love to be erotically seduced by my bride, but it's a rare occurrence. It may be more than I realize because she may be hinting and I'm not catching. She will sometimes grab her thong that's my favorite and say, "Hmmm. This seems to be the only clean underwear I have. I guess I'll have to wear it today." Or she sticks her rear out to me when I'm trying to squeeze past her in the bathroom. A couple of times she has started stroking herself or me in the car. Or she leaves that top button open. Or the way she crawls across the bed facing away from me...

hiswildcherry46 said...

Gosh, you lot leave me giggling every time I read of your antics. You women are such an inspiration. I get bolder and bolder and believe me, with the body issues and insecurities I have towards acting sexually aggressive with my darling, this is notable.
I loved reading all the stuff y'all do. We do quite a few of them.

-Sexy but coded texts during the day do quite a lot for us as my man is always on his computer for work and I am the family taxi! We have our own love code which even our teens cannot figure out.
-SHORT SHORTS and cut off tops drive him wild so that he cannot keep his hands off my tummy and back and hiney.
-Since losing weight and going to the gym, he has loved me in tight jeans and t's. Great visual for a man who constantly says he is not visually stimulated anymore as he is older...yeah, right. I aim to fix that totally :-)
-HIGH heels turn him on visually.
-Leaning in towards him with his favorite jewelry on so that he can pretend he is admiring my necklace in public is a great 'secret' game we play.
-Coquettish looks get his attention. Lipgloss sends subtle messages to his all male brain.
-Backing into him when we leave our bedroom and grinding for a second or two and then walking away as if nothing happened is so hot.
-Kitchen time if always a turn on as we get away with as much as we can. Our kitchen computer screen is a mirror so it is a challenge to twart our teen son's eagle eyes ;-)
-He fondles me whenever he can and drove me crazy this weekend by body trapping me playfully up against a wall and making out.
-Friday nights are ours with alone time in our 'boudoir' apart from our multitudinal kids! Thank you Jesus for movies...
-Candles, sultry scents, revealing lingerie, our favorite music, pillows on the floor, curtains closed, a/c blasting....BLISS.

End note, since my awakening, I have been writing a sexual journal. I love writing and he stays intrigued as to WHAT I record. This has created a constant sexual tension between us that sparks us to more adventures for my journal. Exhilirating.

Who am I said...

I am intrigued by the idea of a sexual journal, would you tell us more.

bunnyhunch said...

Do these ideas help you any? If I think of more, I'll come back and add them. Ladies, what excites you?
Gemma & HWC, you both gave a lot of great examples of erotic seduction. Many of them are things that work for us, too. Here are a few more:
- When DH leans over from behind me to whisper in my ear, his chin in the crook of my neck. I love the feel of his cheeks on my neck, whether he has just shaved or with a 5 o'clock shadow; the sound of his soothing voice in my ear; and the sound and feel of him breathing so close to me. His arms are usually around me then, too; I love feeling so small and sheltered in them.
- When DH is in control of whatever we are going to do for the evening. He often leaves little clues out, and I love to just go with whatever he has in mind, not trying to interject my own ideas. It is always a more rewarding experience when I follow his lead.
- DH has sent erotic email messages for me throughout the day of what to expect later, sometimes with instructions. He keeps me aroused all day that way. It can be hard to focus on work. ;)
- Often for us the seduction begins with a fine dinner together, most often cooked at home, sharing a good bottle of wine and conversation which always turns to sex. We laugh a lot and enjoy being together so much! Between that and the fresh, flavorful food, we always end up in bed... somewhere.
- When undressing, I no longer try to hide in the closet if he might be watching. Now I take my time and take my clothes off slowly, trying to catch and keep his attention. It's not too hard! He has been enjoying the show.

Husbands, if your wife enjoyed exhibiting an attitude of erotic seduction, would you be able to enjoy her behaving like a "bad girl" with you or would it scare you as a husband?
Mr. BH has NO trouble with his wife being a 'bad girl' in bed! The badder the better. In public, sexy & seductive are fine, but under control - for his eyes only. (At least that's the plan. It can be hard to hide.)

HWC: I have thought about writing a sexual journal, too, partly to keep track of all the new things we try. It has only been five months since I would say I've been 'completely awake' and we've found we have 'firsts' nearly every time we ML. I will regret it if I don't start a journal soon; maybe I'll follow your lead. Thanks for your inspiration, in everything!

Hiswildcherry said...

Sex Journal = A daily account of my journey from an ice-block to a fire-ball.
Some days are horribly rough as ingrained habits in both of us, from 20+ years of being sexually distanced, wreak havoc on our intimacy but then again, we open more to each other as we DEAL with the friggin' junk instead of burying it.
I am a grudge bearer with a shrew tongue (which is becoming malformed from my constant biting on it!) and he is a man of brevity, logically analytical type...OMG. Talk about stand offs. Whew.
I write and write and write. Great stress release which I'd refused to do all of my married life as I did not want a paper trail :( WTF.
Now, I pen it, just as I go through it all.
Around Christmas time, I will be counting the times we've made love and plan a special number gift for my man...still thinking on that one ;-)

Tulipsanticipation said...

What would do it for me?
-If my husband gets out the coconut oil with the intent of massaging it all over.
-Trying something new on a date.
-Him setting the mood: candles, window open, oils/lubes ready, ect.
-Massaging and kissing my shoulders and neck.
-I love it when he slides his hands down my jeans to see what I'm wearing and then especially if it's a thong grabbing at my butt.

Things I've done to him recently:
-Pleasured myself in the afternoon and then blowing him away when he gets home with a quickie before family obligation since I'm still semi-aroused.
-Spooning naked and using a vibrator on myself while he fondles my breasts and rubs against me.