Tuesday, March 24, 2009

What is your preference?

Everyone has their own favorite sex-related topics; I know I have mine. What are your favorites? It could be something you already do. It could be something you would like to do. It could be something you think you would probably never do. It could be thoughts, ideas or attitudes. When you think "sex", which topics peak your interest the most? Later on I will post my own favorites.


Mike said...

Wow is this a broad question. Garter belts and stockings, oral sex, rear entry, my DW breasts. The list goes on.

Who am I said...

I have always had a high interest in the various sexual intercourse positions.

Gemma said...

Yes, I purposely made it a broad question ;-).

bunnyhunch said...

How do we pass on good, healthy attitudes toward sex to our children? My parents meant well, but the bit little bit we learned was not passed on easily or well - and only from my father. We would love to encourage our sons and their spouses (1 present, 2 future) to enjoy each other to the fullest, and to understand the important role sex can (& should!) play in helping them create the most intimate and satisfying relationship possible. They will be blessed in so many ways if they keep their sex life flourishing - but how do we express this in a non-offensive ("Oh, Mom! Yuck!), non-gross way?

Our sex life has made everything else about our marriage so much better; the intimacy is incredible. They deserve the same. Do we just hope they figure it out for themselves? How have others approached this?

Who am I said...

well, I have had some more time to reflect, also realized that it was probably ok to post things that I was interested in, but I know my wife isn't enthused about.

So here are some more.

Having my wife strip for me, me stripping for her. Oral sex on her or myself. Always fascinated with lingerie. Love garters and hose, crotchless, thongs, etc.

Sex at different times of day, morning, noon, night, late nate.

Extended sexual intercourse.

Multiple orgasms for her or me.

Sex toys and sex furniture.

Who am I said...

Boy, I just keep thinking of more. I am fascinated with light bondage.

Gemma said...

That's fine, wai. You guys all just post as many comments and ideas as come to your minds. I want to hear it all :-)!

LIT56RD said...

My favorite sex related topic is that in a Christian sexual relationship it is about Giving yourself to your spouse. Regardless of what specific act or action you like or are wanting we need to focus on the needs and desires of our spouse. When you strive to do this in a selfless way it will be returned to you. Mine is to have longer love making sessions.

midwestman said...

While not at the top of my list, and this may be kinda wierd, I like to look at people and guess what they do sexually based on the way they look/talk/interact with others/etc. Not that I am wishing or imagining I was having sex with them, just wondering "what they do" :) I look at some people and think "Never - nope, zero, zilch, nada".


bunnyhunch said...

How about a discussion on accepting our bodies as they are? I'm sure this would be more geared toward women, simply because we tend to be much more critical about our physical attributes. (Who of us hasn't cringed when looking in a mirror!) But isn't accepting our own bodies one major step in being able to fully enjoy our sexuality? If we can get over that hurdle, don't our husbands respond with even more enthusiasm? (I'd love to hear from men about this.) Maybe being comfortable and confident in our own skin can be just as much a turn-on as any negligee we might put on.

Who am I said...

I am a husband, and I think bunnyhunch is on the right track that when a women becomes confident in her own skin, regardless of her body size- it is a huge turn on.

The nights my wife crosses that hurdle can be awesome.

Gemma said...

You guys are coming up with great ideas. Keep them coming. If you've already posted a favorite topic and think of another, go ahead and post it. I'm putting together a list... working on a project.

Anonymous said...

I must say, I found your "mountaintop techniques" blog to be incredibly interesting. Reading everyone's comments, ideas, stories, and of course techniques was really fun. I would love to read a follow-up to that blog. Gemma, it was great to hear what great techiques you and GR use to keep things lively and interesting. And your readers provided some terrific tales too. Please share more soon!

bunnyhunch said...

I don't know how many times my DH has said to me, "Yes, it was fantastic; too bad you can't tell anybody!" It feels so good to have finally found an outlet to both share in and learn from, and in an anonymous fashion. Being able to converse with others regarding sex and passion within the context of marriage is incredibly liberating.

Topic ideas:

Location, outdoors & in. Any nature lovers out there?

Favorite scenarios or rendezvous.

When one has grown up (& spent a good deal of married life) thinking of sex in terms of what's NOT okay, at what point do we finally decide we've gone far enough as far as what's right? My DH is marvelously uninhibited; I not as much, but I'm working hard on it. It would be great to feel completely free.

Sexy pre-tryst meals. We've certainly found that the great dinners in the right setting can really boost the desire level. Have others found that to be true as well? What are some suggestions?

More discussions on useful books.

Biggest turn-ons for a man, or at least some new ideas I could try for my DH.

Mark 9:24 said...

I like to take pictures and/or video of DW and me in the act. Unfortunately DW has zero desire to watch them with me which takes away much of the thrill. I would love it if she enjoyed watching them as well as making the pics and video into a "Music video".

I also sometimes enjoy "risky sex". Like the time we parked behind a Kinkos at twilight and had sex in the car.

I could go on but it could end up as TMI. :)


Mark 9:24 said...

bunnyhunch wrote:
I don't know how many times my DH has said to me, "Yes, it was fantastic; too bad you can't tell anybody!" It feels so good to have finally found an outlet to both share in and learn from, and in an anonymous fashion. Being able to converse with others regarding sex and passion within the context of marriage is incredibly liberating.

I agree completely!

It's great to have a place to brag on DW and to get ideas that will help our sex life and relationship, and to help out in any little way I can.


bunnyhunch said...

Success stories would be great - tales of what sex is like after we or our spouses conquer those mental demons that hold us/them back. I think they'd be very exciting to hear and encouraging to others in the same boat.

job29man said...

Expressing sexuality privately in a public place. What I mean is like when DW wears something "special" under her conservative outfit, or maybe wears nothing at all underneath, and I'm the only one who knows.

Or when we take a seat at a noisy cafe and sit close and talk explicitly about sex. No one can hear us except us.

Or other such things like that.

bunnyhunch said...

I love your ideas, Job Man!

bunnyhunch said...

Silent sex: Can it be as big a turn-on when we have to focus on being as silent as possible as it is when we can be as noisy as we want? (whether restraining ourselves vocally or by being so still we don't squeak the bed)

Anonymous said...

The subject of seduction is a good one.

My wife and I went to dinner a while back. She was looking stunning. She went to the bathroom and came back with an extra button open on her shirt. It exposed just enough. We started talking about sex and each other. As we sat in the car on the way home she lifted her skirt revealing crochless pantehose. It drove me wild. I could bearly wait until we got home.

There is something about exciting me before the act that really gets me going.

Anonymous said...

I have always wanted to learn how to strip for my DH. Can anyone recommend good resources?

Gemma said...

I don't strip, Anon, but there are many threads on stripping on TMB board. If you do a search there you'll see them or you can start a new thread to ask for resources.

James said...

I also love praising my wife for her amazing body. There is such power in giving words of exultation during love making.

Anonymous said...

A huge fantasy of mine is that my wife would strip for me and lap dance for me. That would be awesome.

Unfortunately, since I went to clubs before marriage that bothers her and she struggles with body image issues.

I wish she would throw caution to the wind with the body image issues-yes I know it is hard, but she would be so hot for me.

Gemma said...

Anon, have you ever shared your fantasy with your dw? My dh and I aren't into stripping and/or lap dancing so I don't get the attraction to this but if it floats your boat... I'd suggest having many conversations with her about it.

Regarding body image issues---

So you went to clubs before you married! So what! That was then and this is now. Did you repent for your clubbing days? If you have, then God has forgiven you and so should your dw. She needs to get past that to see this as a way she can bless you.

Only you can help her do this. It doesn't matter what is her body size/shape. Show her that her body is hot for you... that you can't go a day without enjoying it. Constantly let her know how much joy her body gives to you and how hot she is in your marriage bed. All of that while not neglecting your emotional relationship with her.

Even if your dw is overweight, once she understands and accepts her sexuality it will be enough to motivate her to lose weight if need be. It will be enough motivation for her to step out and strip/dance for you.

Pray hard for direction and then work towards your goal.

Anonymous said...

I am interested in lasting longer during lovemaking. I also have an interest in how to help my wife orgasm, during a quickie.

I am fascinated by the many types of sexy lingerie that are available for wives.

Gemma said...

Hi Anon,

My most recent articles get viewed the most. Currently I'm posted a list of articles stemming from my readers' comments. Some of their comments are related to what you're asking. Watch for the articles as I post them and post your questions where they fit in with the topic.

I can say this--- If your dw struggles to O during quickies, shop for a small clit vibe that she can hold on her clit during IC.

Anonymous said...

I am putting this here, because it is another new idea of an area of interest of mine- and I didn't want to hijack the later threads.

Since teenage years, I am over 5o now, I have been fascinated with seeing pictures of couples making love and all the ways they do it, and the dance of intimacy.

Back in my porn days, I was much more drawn to couples making love than just staring at women. I was more drawn to the sexual technique types of movies, where they show couples making love in an educational way- than just the typical wham, bam, thank you mam X rated stuff.

What I struggle with now is what the appropriate channels as a Christian for this curiousity.

For myself, I am interested in lots of the books in the bookstore that show explicit lovemaking techniques, but I tend to just look at ones that have more drawings and try to stay away from the ones with full color pictures.

The Liberator site shows alot of creative positions, and some of the pictures are not too bad, but some I really struggle whether I should see them or not.

The stick men, are helpful, but I like more realistic drawings better.

Bottom line is I struggle as a Christian in balancing my extreme curiousity about the details of the sexual relationship, with not engaging in lust.

Gemma said...

Anon, maybe some of the guys could help you sort this out. It is out of my league. Their is one question which comes to my mind: In all the years of your marriage, has your fascination with viewing these drawings/photos enhanced your marriage or has it taken away from it?

Anonymous said...

Well I have learned alot from the drawings. Photos create an internal conflict in that I want to look and learn but am afraid of lust.

Does GR look at the liberator pictures and site, and does that bother you. Does it bother you to look at the liberator site or you feel morally at peace about that?

Gemma said...

GR rarely goes on the internet. Once in a while I ask him to view a toy with me on the internet and, no, that doesn't bother me. He never purchases sexual toys or books on his own. When I go on sites alone to make purchases or to read info, I am morally at peace about it.