As I am somewhat particular about *public* showers, I did not shower at the hospital. Oh, I am sure the shower was no worse than hotel showers but none the less, I turned down the offer to use it. Since being back home, I have dreaded showering. Do not get me wrong--- I LOVE showers and have been known to take 2-3 of them in a day's time during hot summer months. It was just that with all the pain from surgery I was afraid to get in the shower and then experience even MORE pain than usual, however, GR pushed me and I finally took the plunge this weekend.
Oh my!!! Did it ever feel luxurious! I wonder if surgery or IV meds have a negative affect on a person's skin and hair? At the hospital I did not even bother to use anything on my skin. Heck, it was all I could do keep the nausea at bay. So taking care of my skin was not a priority then but it is now. When I showered, I was able to use my pumice stone on my heals. Washing my hair brought all my natural curls back. After showering, GR treated my feet with my favorite cucumber-scented foot lotion. I love the smell of it so I slathered the stuff on my arms as well. Even my face, which is never really dry (Mediterranean skin), took a beating during the hospital stay so I applied my Oil of Olay moisture lotion to my face.
Sitting here this morning I almost feel as if the exterior of my body is back to normalcy, that it is prepared for life as I know and love. Ah, the simply things...
And you ask--- What does all this have to do with seeking and maintaining a passionate marriage? I do not know. Give me a break while I am on pain meds by allowing me a few minutes to think about it. Dum, de, dum, dum, dum... Oh, here we go! The word for the hour is------ preparation. How much time and at what point in our day or even in our week do we prepare ourselves for a passionate romp in the bed or even exhibit plain old passion for our spouse outside the perimeters of the bedroom? Do we daily make it a priority the way we daily set time aside in preparing to take care of our kids, our church or our friends? Or..... do we fly by the seat of our pants in regard to preparing for marital passion? And if we "fly", do we not care where we land or who is affected?
Now I realize that for some, myself included, preparing for (marital) passion comes as naturally as eating and sleeping. But what about for others? Is it acceptable to tell our spouse, "I'm just not that into you," and then devote all our time to everything BUT our marriage bed? We say our marriage is our most sacred relationship after our relationship with God but is it REALLY? I am speaking here to those who often say "no" but I am also speaking to those who mostly tease and tease... typically during times when sex cannot happen... and then when the opportunity for sex does come up, they will not follow through. In both situations lack of preparation is evident. In both cases, lack of a sense of sacredness for the marriage bed is evident.
So what can we do to sexually prepare ourselves to be the best we can possibly be for our spouse? Many folks make lists, "to do" lists, for everything they want to accomplish in a day. If prepping for sex needs a reminder, would it not make sense to also make a list of ideas to always keep before us that would make the daily prep work less burdensome? Sure, it is not always the case that lack of prep causes lack of passion but if we do take time to prep, perhaps many of us could eliminate a bulk of the difficulties in giving and receiving passion in marriage. So my post-op word for the hour is--- PREPARATION!!!