Monday, January 19, 2009

Do marriage goals help or hinder you?

In many ways 2008 was a rough year for me. We had to overcome several financial hurdles. One of our girls developed a serious medical disorder. Since last summer, I have been sick dealing with pain. Btw-- I will be out for a few days next week for surgery, just so you know I have not run away from my blog. Our daughter is doing well now, the money has eased up and as soon as I recovery from surgery, I know that I will feel better. So overall, I anticipate that 2009 will be better for us.

Each new year brings in so many new resolutions with it. Now, I am not one to make promises I cannot keep but at the end of each year and also on my birthday, I often do take some time to reflect, to look for new goals to incorporate into my life. Part of what I reflect on, of course, is our marriage. One change that GR and I want to see this year is for us to be more diligent in going out on weekly dates, to make it a priority.

Do you have any specific marriage goals that you are working on this year? Have you been able to choose a goal that your spouse is equally as excited to work on with you? If so, have you seen positive results? If you enjoy working together on goals do you think it might inspire your spouse and inspire you to, later on, work on individual goals? In the past, has setting goals helped or hindered your marriage? How?


scotty said...

Praying for your surgery.

Yes I like goals. I woke up one day last year and said to myself, I'm sick of having an average marriage - I want a great marriage. I couldn't change dh, I could only change myself. So I started working on it. I decided to have a good marriage book on my nightstand at all times to help keep me 'fresh'. Through some of that reading I realized I'd been luke warm about our sex life and a some times refuser at worst. I decided I was going to become a better, more enthusiastic lover. All that to say - almost a year later, I think I do have a great marriage. Dh has enjoyed the changes and in turn he's made changes too. It's constant work. What was it Einstein said about a body in motion will tend to stay in motion unless something stops it? I don't know exactly but we need to keep the motion going, not to get lacidaisical (sp?). So for me having a goal really worked

Gemma said...

Yes, it is constant work to maintain a great marriage. Often, I tell folks - "If you do nothing, nothing will change." I love to use goals as long as I don't go overboard with them. That's why taking time twice a year to think about long range goals is a good balance for me. Of course, short range goals need to be more frequent. Every 1-2 months GR and I like to assess our marriage and look at short term goals.

Oh about the marriage books---

I've probably purchased a good 10-15 of them in the last 2 years. Until last week I kept them downstairs but I rearranged the bookcase in our bedroom to accommodate the marriage books so now we can enjoy them in our bedroom.

Mark 9:24 said...


It is good to hear that you will finally be getting the surgery you need.
My prayers are with you.

Mark 9:24

Tulipsanticipation said...

We more have a list of things we are "working on". Like me communicating my needs better and not holding things in until I blow up over them. Or him being more sensitive with his words and to my needs. Maybe if we made these into goals we would be more diligent about actually working on them.