Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Too pooped to party

Last night, GR and I were both so tired that we fell fast asleep against each others' nude bodies and did not wake up this morning until we had to fly out of bed. It was a quiet night and morning. All day today my body felt weird from no sex. But tonight...

Current event- Why did they wait so long to rescue?

Has this story http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,353418,00.html been sickening you guys as much as it has for me? What I still don't understand is how come it took all these years for TX officials to finally check on the ranch and discover the rampant sexual abuse that has been going on there? I mean, what the heck did they think was happening in the compound all these years? The article stated: "State authorities raided the ranch in search of evidence of underage girls being forced into polygamous marriages." What took the officials so long to decide in raiding the ranch? They had to wait for an anon phone call from a teenage girl pleading for help inside the place before taking action? I keep thinking about all those poor kids who could have been rescued years sooner.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Is the word "quiet" a synonym for "slow"?

This past week has been a busy one for me. Yesterday morning, we finally got to sleep late (read: leisurely morning sex). My family-- GR, the girls and I, enjoyed a late lunch of BBQ baby back ribs (some Easters we do lamb), grilled corn on the cob, Greek salad, beer bread and angel food cake with fresh strawberries. Dd's 1 and 2 have both been studying for finals so GR and I prepared all the food except the beer bread, which was made by dd#1. I love fixing food while drinking good wine so that's what GR and I did. Of this year's spring season, this was our first meal enjoyed on the screen porch.

Then, last night as GR and I headed off to bed we saw that dd#1 was still up studying. The moment I hit the bed it was obvious that GR wanted to ML but I whispered to him, "We have to have quiet sex tonight or dd#1 will hear everything."

We did good and I was proud of how quiet GR was throughout the session. He has this little quirk about him. And if you tell him I said this, I'll deny it and call you a liar (jk). He possesses little sense of volume and no sense of rhythm. It is a funny thing--- If I say "quietly" he thrusts s-l-o-w-l-y, lol. I don't quite get the connection between the two words but anyway...

Last night we enjoyed a whispered exchange of erotic comments back and forth while shhhhhhh... quietly and s-l-o-w-l-y doing each other. We haven't French-kissed lately but last night GR kept gently grabbing my face and French kissing with me. There's something sexy about a man grabbing his dw's face in the midst of passion! It sends tingles through my body. Maybe the Fr kissing was part of the being quiet thing, dunno :shrug:.

I purposely don't like to Fr kiss every time we ML because I like to keep it special. That way when we do, it is oh. so. very. hot. Honestly, Fr kissing makes me feel like a teenager in heat. The longer we go at it, the more I want to keep it up and that's pretty amazing for this 50-something yo wife.

We finished everything off before finally drifting off to a sound, satisfying sleep.

How do you enjoy quiet or slow sex? Do you have something that is unique about your method?

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Christ is Risen! Indeed He is Risen!

These are the words we use to greet each other at our Pascha (Easter) midnight Service, which was last night. This past week has been our Lenten Holy Week. The Eastern Orthodox still go by the old Julian calendar in calculating the date of Pascha, although we use the new calendar for all the fixed feasts.

Just before we are dismissed from our Pascha service each year, the Paschal Sermon by St. John Chrysostom (347-407) is read from the pulpit. Here it is in its entirety.

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A PASCHAL SERMON by St. John Chrysostom (347-407)

Are there any who are devout lovers of God?
Let them enjoy this beautiful bright festival!

Are there any who are grateful servants?
Let them rejoice and enter into the joy of their Lord!

Are there any weary from fasting?
Let them now receive their due!

If any have toiled from the first hour,
let them receive their reward.

If any have come after the third hour,
let them with gratitude join in the feast!

Those who arrived after the sixth hour,
let them not doubt; for they shall not be short-changed.

Those who have tarried until the ninth hour,
let them not hesitate; but let them come too.

And those who arrived only at the eleventh hour,
let them not be afraid by reason of their delay.

For the Lord is gracious and receives the last even as the first.
The Lord gives rest to those who come at the eleventh hour,
even as to those who toiled from the beginning.

To one and all the Lord gives generously.
The Lord accepts the offering of every work.
The Lord honours every deed and commends their intention.

Let us all enter into the joy of the Lord!

First and last alike, receive your reward.
Rich and poor, rejoice together!

Conscientious and lazy, celebrate the day!
You who have kept the fast, and you who have not,
rejoice, this day, for the table is bountifully spread!

Feast royally, for the calf is fatted.
Let no one go away hungry.
Partake, all, of the banquet of faith.
Enjoy the bounty of the Lord's goodness!

Let no one grieve being poor,
for the universal reign has been revealed.

Let no one lament persistent failings,
for forgiveness has risen from the grave.

Let no one fear death,
for the death of our Saviour has set us free.

The Lord has destroyed death by enduring it.
The Lord vanquished hell when he descended into it.
The Lord put hell in turmoil even as it tasted of his flesh.

Isaiah foretold this when he said,
"You, O Hell, were placed in turmoil when he encountering you below."

Hell was in turmoil having been eclipsed.
Hell was in turmoil having been mocked.
Hell was in turmoil having been destroyed.
Hell was in turmoil having been abolished.
Hell was in turmoil having been made captive.

Hell grasped a corpse, and met God.
Hell seized earth, and encountered heaven.
Hell took what it saw, and was overcome by what it could not see.

O death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?

Christ is risen, and you are cast down!
Christ is risen, and the demons are fallen!
Christ is risen, and the angels rejoice!
Christ is risen, and life is set free!
Christ is risen, and the tomb is emptied of its dead.

For Christ, having risen from the dead,
is become the first-fruits of those who have fallen asleep.

To Christ be glory and power forever and ever. Amen!

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Is that an inspiring Easter sermon or what? And to think it was first delivered 1,600 years ago and it has been read every Easter service since then! After this sermon is read, we give the greeting in many different languages. Here are a few of them:

Arabic:
Al-Maseeh Qam!
Haqqan Qam!

Greek:
Christos Anesti!
Alithos Anesti!

Slavonic:
Christos Voskrese!
Voistinu Voskrese!

French:
Le Christ est Resucitee!
Vraiment est Resucitee!

Italian:
Cristo e Risorto!
Verito e Risorto!

Christ is Risen! Indeed He is Risen!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Welcome To My Food World

Check out some of my favorite recipe links. >>>>>> Yes, over there, to the right, in the side bar. "Do the foods in those recipes REALLY increase sex drive?" you ask. Well OK, all you Doubting Thomas'... if you don't try any of these scrumptious recipes, don't come crying to me if you or your spouse are walking around with low-SD (jk).

In addition, besides the SD increase you'll experience when trying these recipes--- Pull your spouse into the kitchen, pop a good bottle of wine and prepare one of these tasty dishes together while you enjoy a bottle. I guarantee, your time in the kitchen will be as foreplay and your love making that evening will be blessed 10-fold. (OK, jk again but at least 3-fold.)

Later on, I'll be adding some links for Arabic recipes. In general, Arabic dishes are very healthy, with tons of veggies included in them... many of them great for fasting meals.

Ciao!

Monday, April 21, 2008

Saturday, April 19, 2008

How many sessions-- can you fit in a night-- and still get a full night's sleep?

You can almost say that title like a tongue-twister:
How many sessions-- can you fit in a night-- and still get a full night's sleep? See if you can say it fast 5x's, hehe.

This nightly frequency is close but not quite the norm for GR and me. However, we've been apart for the last four days so keep that in mind when reading this. Last night he and I enjoyed 3 sessions from the time the kids went to bed until just before they woke this morning. It all happened within a 12 hour period of time. We always sleep nude so, of course, that made this triple-session-night easy to do.

"Round 1" was a lengthy session at 10pm that we thoroughly enjoyed after going through 4 days of being apart from each other. Around 3am we did "Round 2". Lastly, we were downstairs this morning enjoying some private conversation in our pj's while the kids were still in bed. We had already enjoyed some coffee and breakfast. Next thing we knew we were back upstairs at 9am for a "Round 3" quickie.

I don't worry about this but I occasionally wonder if there is a limit to how often a couple have sex in any given day. Should I be concerned.... at all? I guess we could spend time doing much worse things :-). And can you tell that for both of us, "Physical Touch" (along with "Words of Affirmation") are our top two Chapman Love Languages? Yes, even our Love Languages are well matched.

Friday, April 18, 2008

I did it, I did it, I did it!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, yes, YES!!!!!!!! A big thanks to my helpful readers, I finally figured this out. If you glance at my right side bar you will now see a list of some of my favorite sites to shop for sex toys and other bedroom items. Oh the possibilities... let's see what other groups of links should I list???? Any ideas??? Hmmmm....

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OK, somebody help me, please? If I want to post links here for others to view toy stores... something like: www.liberator.com but I only wanted it to show up on my blog as "liberator" ..... or even if I wanted it to read as: "Have a wonderful life!" Well, you get my point, right? I could have it read any way I wanted it to read. Others could click on it to go there and view their toys. How would I do that?

I realize this is basic 101 stuff but please help me anyway. I am pc illiterate. Or if you know of a blogger web page where it's explained, can you give me the link? Thanks.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Just a short whine!

Life can sure get lonely when the dh is away :-(. GR left yesterday morning for a business trip and will be out until Friday evening. On each trip, the first night without him is always the hardest for me but I got through it and even managed to get some sleep. As I sit here, sipping on my coffee, I'm well aware of the sun rising up over the horizon.... shining right into the corner of my left eye. Soon, I'll be heading out the door with older kids in tow, bringing them to their schools so I'll be back later this morning.

Enjoy waking with your spouses, folks, and do have a good Wednesday morning!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Full obedience to God- If not evident in the marriage, is it fully there?

Thinking on a discussion that's been going on 2 articles down entitled: 'Does "stuff" chokd the life out of your marriage?' ... I wanted to share a few thoughts.

Under that article Cocotte commented: "For me, I think it's the basic desire of wanting to feel attractive. Before marriage, it was a thrill for me to be "chased" by males. I dated a lot and it was a "high" in a way to have so many men attracted to me. After many years of marriage, I know I'm still in need of that feeling and I can only get it by having my husband initiate sex."

Cocotte's comment holds true for me. That was also my life before marriage. And, yes, we could argue that our self-image should come from God but in reality, it is normal and natural for a portion of that to come from our spouse. When it doesn't, the emotional intimacy between a married couple breaks down in direct proportion to how badly our needs are being neglected.

That is why I always say-- In our marriage, we should periodically look to the wellness of our spiritual, emotional and physical intimacy. Doing so will detect any lack in one or more of these three areas. If 1 or 2 of the 3 is lacking to any degree, the lack will be felt in all 3 areas and will be a symptom, alerting us that a mending is needed in the relationship.

We all sense a lack of some sort at least once in a while so it's nothing to be ashamed of unless we choose to ignore it. Using my years of refusing as a brief example--- I chose to ignore the physical lack GR was feeling so it caused me to fall into sin and wallow in it for many years. I don't blame GR one bit but as my refusing progressed and out of his desperation, he chose to ignore the emotional lack that I was feeling. There we were, both of us ignoring the sin and both of us ignoring how God truly wanted us to relate to each other. That continued until each of us wised up and began listening to the voice of God.

And Tractor, I'm not relating this to your marriage or anyone else's so please, nobody take offense to what I'm saying here. This was a concept of Christianity that took YEARS for GR and me to begin understanding.

Each of us can say we have a God-centered marriage if we sincerely believe that we are a Christian. GR and I said that for years but it was while we lived in unconfessed sin. Unless both spouses are fully obeying God within the marriage relationship and both spouses have a desire to please God and to please each other... well, let me say it this way---- I can pour pizza sauce over myself and say I am "a pizza" and even look and smell like a pizza but that won't turn me into a pizza, will it?

Living in a Christ-centered marriage requires us to possess a deep, heartfelt relationship with God and with our spouse. God looks to our heart's inner chambers, the secret place, to see how we relate to Him. When GR and I kept our Christ-centered life outside the marriage separate from how poorly we related to each other and how little we obeyed God inside our marriage, we fell waaaaaaaay short and couldn't help but feel the aftermath in our relationship.

I would be so bold as to say that marriage relationships slip before any other area of our Christian walk. Would it be appropriate or accurate to assume that for a married couple, the true measure of obedience to God can be seen within the confines of the marriage relationship? Can we say that if we don't see the full obedience to God in our marriage, then perhaps it is not fully there?

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Praying for supernatural sex & about our church friends- Are they assets or liabilities for our MB?

One of my dear readers, Tractor, expressed this in the comment section of my blog:

"I have read that sometimes when women make a consistent, conscious choice to make love, that eventually their desire goes up. I keep hoping that will happen with my wife, but until then I am trying to more and more enjoy what we have."

I thought I would respond to Tractor's comment here so others could read it and comment. Here is my theory on this---

With increased LMing frequency, many low-SD's can indeed raise their SD level since "the more we do, the more we want". However, our individual "desire" level will always play a part in how high the SD level is raised. By this I mean- the desire to enjoy healthy sex and the desire to see our spouse sexually pleasured and satisfied, not once in a while, not even weekly, but on a daily basis. Daily, we can all check in with our spouse to assure that those needs are being met. For some low-SD and/or low desire individuals, this can only be accomplished through their own prayers, asking God to change them. The same goes for spouses who are not meeting emotional needs in their marriage. It requires a humbling before God, asking Him to change ---- who??? Yes, "God change *me*!!!"

When we're apart from spouse, we should want to look forward to uniting again in order to bless their socks off. If we can't anticipate it naturally, then we need to ask for God's supernatural help. Before my awakening it never entered my thinking to pray for God to help me increase my desire and anticipation for having sex with my dh. For some spouses, that's what it takes. Are you OK with asking God to equip you for offering supernatural sex or supernatural emotional support when the natural isn't doing it?

For the spouse who only offers low sexual desire or low emotional support-- What is so difficult about praying for God to change that in our lives? We pray for all the other spiritual needs for our family and for others. Shouldn't this be our main prayer request to God--- to change *me*, to make *me* be a better intimate partner in every way for my spouse?

And one more thing before I go---

I've said this before but it's worth repeating. We need to be careful with the crowd we run with. Don't be offended by this but let's face it--- Many church women tend to be rather prudish about marital sex as if they're still dealing with the "sex is dirty" factor. (I can say that because I used to be one of the prudes.) We wives, or husbands, should be acting as adults totally enjoying the gift of sex that God has given us. If most of our female church friends are not excited about marital sex, chances are that we won't be either. We will become like the crowd we run with. It's not like we go on and on talking about our sex life with our girlfriends. However, we can get a good feel for the mindset of others in regards to marital sex. Occasionally, I also ask GR about how the guys at work feel about sex in their marriages. Guys can pick up on these things too.

Soooooo..... what kind of girlfriends do we wives hang with from church? Or, what kind of guy friends do dh's hang with from church? Is it time to do an inventory of the type of friends we have? Are we even in the right kind of church which encourages healthy marital sex or is the subject totally ignored. For high-SD spouses--- Do you feel your church is an asset or a liability in fostering healthier sexual thoughts in your spouse and in your marriage?

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Does "stuff" choke the life out of your marriage?

Ahhhhh, a breather; finally!!!! GR and I have been so overwhelmed lately with important "stuff" that could not be ignored. By "stuff" I mean things other than our marriage such as helping dd's 1 and 2 get settled properly in college.... dealing with dd2's medical issues..... restructuring our household finances. With GR away from home M-F from 7am until 6pm along with a few, 2-3 day overnight business trips sprinkled in here and there, we have had to squeeze time out from our marriage relationship to enable us to care for these other things that would not, could not wait. It seems that the worse of it is finally behind us, I hope.

Funny how stuff in life can mess with your head and with your marriage relationship. Last night we went to bed, both of us thinking the other didn't want sex. That doesn't sound so awful in and of itself but the truth was, we both DID want sex. Life stresses were messing with our heads. There we were in bed each discussing how we wanted sex while the other was sort of doubting the sincerity of it. How pathetic is that? By the time we got past the stupid talk, GR had about 20 minutes left before he needed to run out and pick up dd1 from her campus job. The stupid talk was wearing on us as we looked at the clock and agreed--- It's almost time to pick up dd1. Why bother with sex right now? Why not just wait until he returns back home.

I told GR---- Enough already of the late nights. I can't do this anymore and neither can you because we're not getting enough sleep. We agreed that we needed to reestablish our normal routine for evenings and nights:

*By 8pm, begin wrapping up any and all projects which need to be finished before bedtime.
*8:30-9pm, get our bodies into the bedroom.
*From then until 5-6am, we only do "sex, sleep and relax", in no particular order.

Anyway, both of us desperately needed to destress so once we reestablished our routine, we enjoyed a fast and furious quickie before reluctantly pulling our hands off each other so GR could dress and leave to pick up dd1. By the time he returned home we were both sleepy so we spent the entire night pressed against each other. Sleep was delightfully sweet.

Is your marriage choking from life's stuff? Do you need to establish or reestablish better routines for your marital intimacy? Things change. People change. None of us remain the same all the time. Hopefully, we grow and mature which causes us to change in a positive way as an individual. How does our change affect our spouse and how does it affect our marriage? This is why it is so crucial for a dh and dw to do a periodical evaluation, maybe once a month or once every 3 months, to help keep the marriage in a healthy state.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

What wakes you for sex & what wakes your spouse? (favorite ways)

I was thinking about this as I replied to a comment this morning. Let's face it-- We all lead busy lives but we need our sleep and sex, among other things, to recharge and stay energized. What is your favorite way to be awakened for sex and what is your spouse's favorite way for you to wake them?

LMing should be fun and enjoyable but if you're having sex out of obligation or when you're exhausted, then it's not fun. So when we're in the bedroom GR and I ML when we feel like it, not when it's a time that we're *supposed* to be ML. Just because 80% or so of married couples ML at bedtime doesn't mean that we have to adhere to their schedules.

Often, I'm sleeping heavily in the early morning hours when GR's at his best and horny. To make morning sex happen, he knows that I expect him to wake me. And, I'm sorry but "Honey, wake up," doesn't do it and he knows that, wise man ;-). Instead he will wake my body until I'm up enough for sex. This approach turns me into a morning person for the day!!!! To wake GR, I do the same.

Some spouse's may not appreciate the "hands on" during sleep but for us, it helps to make the best use of time when one is still sleeping so we don't waste the moments.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

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