Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Then, last night as GR and I headed off to bed we saw that dd#1 was still up studying. The moment I hit the bed it was obvious that GR wanted to ML but I whispered to him, "We have to have quiet sex tonight or dd#1 will hear everything."
We did good and I was proud of how quiet GR was throughout the session. He has this little quirk about him. And if you tell him I said this, I'll deny it and call you a liar (jk). He possesses little sense of volume and no sense of rhythm. It is a funny thing--- If I say "quietly" he thrusts s-l-o-w-l-y, lol. I don't quite get the connection between the two words but anyway...
Last night we enjoyed a whispered exchange of erotic comments back and forth while shhhhhhh... quietly and s-l-o-w-l-y doing each other. We haven't French-kissed lately but last night GR kept gently grabbing my face and French kissing with me. There's something sexy about a man grabbing his dw's face in the midst of passion! It sends tingles through my body. Maybe the Fr kissing was part of the being quiet thing, dunno :shrug:.
I purposely don't like to Fr kiss every time we ML because I like to keep it special. That way when we do, it is oh. so. very. hot. Honestly, Fr kissing makes me feel like a teenager in heat. The longer we go at it, the more I want to keep it up and that's pretty amazing for this 50-something yo wife.
We finished everything off before finally drifting off to a sound, satisfying sleep.
How do you enjoy quiet or slow sex? Do you have something that is unique about your method?
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Just before we are dismissed from our Pascha service each year, the Paschal Sermon by St. John Chrysostom (347-407) is read from the pulpit. Here it is in its entirety.
A PASCHAL SERMON by St. John Chrysostom (347-407)
Are there any who are devout lovers of God?
Let them enjoy this beautiful bright festival!
Are there any who are grateful servants?
Let them rejoice and enter into the joy of their Lord!
Are there any weary from fasting?
Let them now receive their due!
If any have toiled from the first hour,
let them receive their reward.
If any have come after the third hour,
let them with gratitude join in the feast!
Those who arrived after the sixth hour,
let them not doubt; for they shall not be short-changed.
Those who have tarried until the ninth hour,
let them not hesitate; but let them come too.
And those who arrived only at the eleventh hour,
let them not be afraid by reason of their delay.
For the Lord is gracious and receives the last even as the first.
The Lord gives rest to those who come at the eleventh hour,
even as to those who toiled from the beginning.
To one and all the Lord gives generously.
The Lord accepts the offering of every work.
The Lord honours every deed and commends their intention.
Let us all enter into the joy of the Lord!
First and last alike, receive your reward.
Rich and poor, rejoice together!
Conscientious and lazy, celebrate the day!
You who have kept the fast, and you who have not,
rejoice, this day, for the table is bountifully spread!
Feast royally, for the calf is fatted.
Let no one go away hungry.
Partake, all, of the banquet of faith.
Enjoy the bounty of the Lord's goodness!
Let no one grieve being poor,
for the universal reign has been revealed.
Let no one lament persistent failings,
for forgiveness has risen from the grave.
Let no one fear death,
for the death of our Saviour has set us free.
The Lord has destroyed death by enduring it.
The Lord vanquished hell when he descended into it.
The Lord put hell in turmoil even as it tasted of his flesh.
Isaiah foretold this when he said,
"You, O Hell, were placed in turmoil when he encountering you below."
Hell was in turmoil having been eclipsed.
Hell was in turmoil having been mocked.
Hell was in turmoil having been destroyed.
Hell was in turmoil having been abolished.
Hell was in turmoil having been made captive.
Hell grasped a corpse, and met God.
Hell seized earth, and encountered heaven.
Hell took what it saw, and was overcome by what it could not see.
O death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?
Christ is risen, and you are cast down!
Christ is risen, and the demons are fallen!
Christ is risen, and the angels rejoice!
Christ is risen, and life is set free!
Christ is risen, and the tomb is emptied of its dead.
For Christ, having risen from the dead,
is become the first-fruits of those who have fallen asleep.
To Christ be glory and power forever and ever. Amen!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Is that an inspiring Easter sermon or what? And to think it was first delivered 1,600 years ago and it has been read every Easter service since then! After this sermon is read, we give the greeting in many different languages. Here are a few of them:
Le Christ est Resucitee!
Vraiment est Resucitee!
Cristo e Risorto!
Verito e Risorto!
Christ is Risen! Indeed He is Risen!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
In addition, besides the SD increase you'll experience when trying these recipes--- Pull your spouse into the kitchen, pop a good bottle of wine and prepare one of these tasty dishes together while you enjoy a bottle. I guarantee, your time in the kitchen will be as foreplay and your love making that evening will be blessed 10-fold. (OK, jk again but at least 3-fold.)
Later on, I'll be adding some links for Arabic recipes. In general, Arabic dishes are very healthy, with tons of veggies included in them... many of them great for fasting meals.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
How many sessions-- can you fit in a night-- and still get a full night's sleep? See if you can say it fast 5x's, hehe.
This nightly frequency is close but not quite the norm for GR and me. However, we've been apart for the last four days so keep that in mind when reading this. Last night he and I enjoyed 3 sessions from the time the kids went to bed until just before they woke this morning. It all happened within a 12 hour period of time. We always sleep nude so, of course, that made this triple-session-night easy to do.
"Round 1" was a lengthy session at 10pm that we thoroughly enjoyed after going through 4 days of being apart from each other. Around 3am we did "Round 2". Lastly, we were downstairs this morning enjoying some private conversation in our pj's while the kids were still in bed. We had already enjoyed some coffee and breakfast. Next thing we knew we were back upstairs at 9am for a "Round 3" quickie.
I don't worry about this but I occasionally wonder if there is a limit to how often a couple have sex in any given day. Should I be concerned.... at all? I guess we could spend time doing much worse things :-). And can you tell that for both of us, "Physical Touch" (along with "Words of Affirmation") are our top two Chapman Love Languages? Yes, even our Love Languages are well matched.
Friday, April 18, 2008
OK, somebody help me, please? If I want to post links here for others to view toy stores... something like: www.liberator.com but I only wanted it to show up on my blog as "liberator"
I realize this is basic 101 stuff but please help me anyway. I am pc illiterate. Or if you know of a blogger web page where it's explained, can you give me the link? Thanks.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Enjoy waking with your spouses, folks, and do have a good Wednesday morning!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Under that article Cocotte commented: "For me, I think it's the basic desire of wanting to feel attractive. Before marriage, it was a thrill for me to be "chased" by males. I dated a lot and it was a "high" in a way to have so many men attracted to me. After many years of marriage, I know I'm still in need of that feeling and I can only get it by having my husband initiate sex."
That is why I always say-- In our marriage, we should periodically look to the wellness of our spiritual, emotional and physical intimacy. Doing so will detect any lack in one or more of these three areas. If 1 or 2 of the 3 is lacking to any degree, the lack will be felt in all 3 areas and will be a symptom, alerting us that a mending is needed in the relationship.
We all sense a lack of some sort at least once in a while so it's nothing to be ashamed of unless we choose to ignore it. Using my years of refusing as a brief example--- I chose to ignore the physical lack GR was feeling so it caused me to fall into sin and wallow in it for many years. I don't blame GR one bit but as my refusing progressed and out of his desperation, he chose to ignore the emotional lack that I was feeling. There we were, both of us ignoring the sin and both of us ignoring how God truly wanted us to relate to each other. That continued until each of us wised up and began listening to the voice of God.
And Tractor, I'm not relating this to your marriage or anyone else's so please, nobody take offense to what I'm saying here. This was a concept of Christianity that took YEARS for GR and me to begin understanding.
Each of us can say we have a God-centered marriage if we sincerely believe that we are a Christian. GR and I said that for years but it was while we lived in unconfessed sin. Unless both spouses are fully obeying God within the marriage relationship and both spouses have a desire to please God and to please each other... well, let me say it this way---- I can pour pizza sauce over myself and say I am "a pizza" and even look and smell like a pizza but that won't turn me into a pizza, will it?
Living in a Christ-centered marriage requires us to possess a deep, heartfelt relationship with God and with our spouse. God looks to our heart's inner chambers, the secret place, to see how we relate to Him. When GR and I kept our Christ-centered life outside the marriage separate from how poorly we related to each other and how little we obeyed God inside our marriage, we fell waaaaaaaay short and couldn't help but feel the aftermath in our relationship.
I would be so bold as to say that marriage relationships slip before any other area of our Christian walk. Would it be appropriate or accurate to assume that for a married couple, the true measure of obedience to God can be seen within the confines of the marriage relationship? Can we say that if we don't see the full obedience to God in our marriage, then perhaps it is not fully there?
Saturday, April 12, 2008
"I have read that sometimes when women make a consistent, conscious choice to make love, that eventually their desire goes up. I keep hoping that will happen with my wife, but until then I am trying to more and more enjoy what we have."
I thought I would respond to Tractor's comment here so others could read it and comment. Here is my theory on this---
With increased LMing frequency, many low-SD's can indeed raise their SD level since "the more we do, the more we want". However, our individual "desire" level will always play a part in how high the SD level is raised. By this I mean- the desire to enjoy healthy sex and the desire to see our spouse sexually pleasured and satisfied, not once in a while, not even weekly, but on a daily basis. Daily, we can all check in with our spouse to assure that those needs are being met. For some low-SD and/or low desire individuals, this can only be accomplished through their own prayers, asking God to change them. The same goes for spouses who are not meeting emotional needs in their marriage. It requires a humbling before God, asking Him to change ---- who??? Yes, "God change *me*!!!"
When we're apart from spouse, we should want to look forward to uniting again in order to bless their socks off. If we can't anticipate it naturally, then we need to ask for God's supernatural help. Before my awakening it never entered my thinking to pray for God to help me increase my desire and anticipation for having sex with my dh. For some spouses, that's what it takes. Are you OK with asking God to equip you for offering supernatural sex or supernatural emotional support when the natural isn't doing it?
For the spouse who only offers low sexual desire or low emotional support-- What is so difficult about praying for God to change that in our lives? We pray for all the other spiritual needs for our family and for others. Shouldn't this be our main prayer request to God--- to change *me*, to make *me* be a better intimate partner in every way for my spouse?
And one more thing before I go---
I've said this before but it's worth repeating. We need to be careful with the crowd we run with. Don't be offended by this but let's face it--- Many church women tend to be rather prudish about marital sex as if they're still dealing with the "sex is dirty" factor. (I can say that because I used to be one of the prudes.) We wives, or husbands, should be acting as adults totally enjoying the gift of sex that God has given us. If most of our female church friends are not excited about marital sex, chances are that we won't be either. We will become like the crowd we run with. It's not like we go on and on talking about our sex life with our girlfriends. However, we can get a good feel for the mindset of others in regards to marital sex. Occasionally, I also ask GR about how the guys at work feel about sex in their marriages. Guys can pick up on these things too.
Soooooo..... what kind of girlfriends do we wives hang with from church? Or, what kind of guy friends do dh's hang with from church? Is it time to do an inventory of the type of friends we have? Are we even in the right kind of church which encourages healthy marital sex or is the subject totally ignored. For high-SD spouses--- Do you feel your church is an asset or a liability in fostering healthier sexual thoughts in your spouse and in your marriage?
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Funny how stuff in life can mess with your head and with your marriage relationship. Last night we went to bed, both of us thinking the other didn't want sex. That doesn't sound so awful in and of itself but the truth was, we both DID want sex. Life stresses were messing with our heads. There we were in bed each discussing how we wanted sex while the other was sort of doubting the sincerity of it. How pathetic is that? By the time we got past the stupid talk, GR had about 20 minutes left before he needed to run out and pick up dd1 from her campus job. The stupid talk was wearing on us as we looked at the clock and agreed--- It's almost time to pick up dd1. Why bother with sex right now? Why not just wait until he returns back home.
I told GR---- Enough already of the late nights. I can't do this anymore and neither can you because we're not getting enough sleep. We agreed that we needed to reestablish our normal routine for evenings and nights:
*By 8pm, begin wrapping up any and all projects which need to be finished before bedtime.
*8:30-9pm, get our bodies into the bedroom.
*From then until 5-6am, we only do "sex, sleep and relax", in no particular order.
Anyway, both of us desperately needed to destress so once we reestablished our routine, we enjoyed a fast and furious quickie before reluctantly pulling our hands off each other so GR could dress and leave to pick up dd1. By the time he returned home we were both sleepy so we spent the entire night pressed against each other. Sleep was delightfully sweet.
Is your marriage choking from life's stuff? Do you need to establish or reestablish better routines for your marital intimacy? Things change. People change. None of us remain the same all the time. Hopefully, we grow and mature which causes us to change in a positive way as an individual. How does our change affect our spouse and how does it affect our marriage? This is why it is so crucial for a dh and dw to do a periodical evaluation, maybe once a month or once every 3 months, to help keep the marriage in a healthy state.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
LMing should be fun and enjoyable but if you're having sex out of obligation or when you're exhausted, then it's not fun. So when we're in the bedroom GR and I ML when we feel like it, not when it's a time that we're *supposed* to be ML. Just because 80% or so of married couples ML at bedtime doesn't mean that we have to adhere to their schedules.
Often, I'm sleeping heavily in the early morning hours when GR's at his best and horny. To make morning sex happen, he knows that I expect him to wake me. And, I'm sorry but "Honey, wake up," doesn't do it and he knows that, wise man ;-). Instead he will wake my body until I'm up enough for sex. This approach turns me into a morning person for the day!!!! To wake GR, I do the same.
Some spouse's may not appreciate the "hands on" during sleep but for us, it helps to make the best use of time when one is still sleeping so we don't waste the moments.