When the sexual playground seems to be closed for the night are there times when God gives us the ability to reopen it out of sheer desire to please our spouse, if for no other reason?
In my last comment from my article entitled: On keeping the "withholding of sex" a dark secret vs. bringing it to light.... I mentioned having a true story to share. You can go to that article's comment page if you care to read everything that was said. Basically, I referenced what I was talking about to 1 Cor. 7: 1-7 and gave my "take" on the meaning of the passage.
At the very end of my comment I said: "There are always those rare occasions, and they should be very rare, where sex must be postponed like during extreme sickness, etc...... I have a true story to share (later) which is an example of what I am talking about here. It is something that happened to GR and me last night while in bed."
Here is what happened---
Yesterday morning during an appointment, I experienced a really huge, disturbing encounter with someone. I would rather not go into the specifics of it but suffice to say, on a scale of 1-10, it was a 10. I rarely become so upset that it brings me to tears but I was in tears throughout the appointment as it had me emotionally disturbed, really disturbed, all day long. GR was out of town on business so I didn't get to tell him about it until he arrived home last night. Again, I was in tears while relating the incident to him. This was so out of character for me to be this emotionally distraught over words coming from another person. I am just not that sensitive at all.
When we went to bed my heart was still heavy. I am such a person where if something emotionally upsetting bothers me or if I am in physical pain, I always want sex because it quickly de-stresses me or relieves pain. But last night, for the first time in two years, I went to bed and could not bring myself to think about enjoying sex. GR was very understanding so we simply relaxed, nude, in each others' arms. After about a half hour he began gently touching me in some of my hot spots. At first I could not respond but the more he touched, the more my body gave in. It was like my mind was slowly telling me, "It's OK, relax, enjoy it!"
Well, before long GR had to leave to bring dd#1 to work for her 11pm-7am shift. By this time we were both getting hot and bothered but he went ahead and brought her to work. That little bit of touching had relaxed me so much that before he even arrived back home, I must have fallen asleep. Normally if one of us falls asleep, we wait a few hours and then wake the other person up for sex. This time GR must have been good and horny because he woke me as soon as he got back in bed. I was so groggy by then but I was able to wake up enough for us to enjoy a wonderful love making session. After that we both fell fast asleep and slept soundly throughout the night.
The reason I wanted to share this---
It would not have been a crime if we had forgone sex last night. I was way too upset to feel guilty about anything and GR knew it. He would never have pushed if I had told him, "I just cannot tonight!" But rather than cave in to my distraught feelings and shutting down to sex, I worked hard at keeping the door open for sexual play and it worked.... partly because GR was in sync with my emotions and partly because I was determined to keep myself open in case we could make it work.
When a spouse is not in a sexual mood for whatever reason-- tired, upset, pain, you name it-- it does not necessarily have to mean that the sexual playground must close for the night. If we keep ourselves open, keep our hearts right, and work together as a Christian husband/wife team, we never know what God can do for our marriage bed. What He did for us last night was huge to me... I guess it was also huge for GR.