Monday, November 24, 2008

OK, non-creative spouses CAN be creative in the bedroom!

Many times I have posted on marriage boards that we should not expect non-creative spouses to show creativity. Well, I was wrong. Yesterday, GR and I had a rare opportunity of having our girls out of the house from 1-5pm. Ahead of time, he and I talked and we both wanted to spend the time together at home so as soon as the girls left we went to the bedroom and began playing. GR is as nerdy as they come. He reads computer manuals for fun and loves computer talk.

We have the Bed Buckler and restraining cuffs that Liberator sells. My nerdy husband chose to put me in restraints on the bed and then.... would not tell me what else he planned to do to me. That is where his creativity kicked in. Usually he cannot surprise me a whole lot but let's just say that I was caught totally off guard to what he had in mind and I got to see the "tormenting" side of him in action. Between having me strapped to the bed and him pulling out a few other surprises, he took his time and then brought me to a mind-blowing O. After that, he wanted to do PIV-IC while I was still strapped down so he had his way with me some more while he O'd. He unbuckled me while we relaxed and talked a bit, made love some more and O'd again.

And I thought my nerdy husband did not enjoy being creative! I was so very wrong. Not only is he creative but he has an erotic "tormenting" side that I love. Are you or your spouse usually non-creative in the bedroom? Do you ever have surprising sessions?

Next week GR and I will be attending his company dinner at a hotel in town and staying the night there as his company puts all the employees up in rooms for the night. GR wants to bring all our toys. Hmmmmmm, wonder what he will have in mind?

16 comments:

LIT56RD said...

You are one lucky couple. I wish Dw and I had that kind of relationship. Dw is the one who says she is not creative. She asks "How do you think of those things to do?" Haven't even introduced any "toys" to our relationship yet. Think I will start at Christmas.

Gemma said...

LIT,

In my marriage I'm the one who enjoys searching for toys and buying them. GR's OK using them but yesterday he was really in his glory and full of surprises.

GR and I love to talk about sex.. a lot.. all the time. I always tell folks--- Work on your communication and the sex will fall in place.

scotty said...

You never know when creativity will strike! I don't think either of us as a couple are particularly creative (in bed anyway) but every now and then one of us will surprise the other - and ourselves too I think!
Toys are VERY new to us - we only have two, but dh is talking about surprising me with one - not quite sure how he'll do that. He doesn't like going into adult stores and he can't access those kinds of websites on the company computer. If he uses mine - I'll see it. Well he'll just have to be very creative - right?
Oh btw the hotel night and a bunch of toys sounds like a little bit of heaven to me. Hotel sex is always my fave!

Gemma said...

Likewise, my dh and I aren't particularly creative, either. We both tend to be quite practical and down to earth IRL. One of our dd's has a creative bent. It's often beyond our understanding to see what makes her tick.

Oh, a 4th option for your surprise, scotty--

Both of you sit down at your computer and have fun choosing together for a purchase. That's often how we buy toys.

Who am I said...

BTW- I see Spencers in the malls often have a selection of basic toys. Not as embarrassing as an adult store, and you can hold and read the box.

If privacy is a concern go to a mall 50 miles away.

scotty said...

Yes... we have done that Gemma - but dh wants to surprise me! I'm all for that!

Gemma said...

Yeah, I understand. My idea does take the "surprise" element out of it :-).

Gemma said...

wai is right. Spencers does sell some toys if you can get past all the teens who hang in there.

Cocotte said...

My husband is actually very creative, but doesn't think about sex as often as I do or plan ahead. It can get tiring (and boring) being the only creative person. One thing I've done that's helped in the sharing of creativity is to make a multiple choice checklist for him. I'll list choices of lingerie/costumes that I have, props (such as toys, blindfolds, etc.), and atmosphere (candles, blacklights, music). He picks one thing from each category. It mixes things up and is fun for both of us, because I never know what he's going to chose.

Gemma said...

Wow, cocotte... I'd sure like to see how you formulated such a checklist.

Cocotte said...

It wasn't hard - I just went through my lingerie drawer and our "sex suitcase" and listed a bunch of stuff.

Gemma said...

Almost like a multiple choice test ;-). I like that.

Mr. Self Respect said...

I tried being creative, by actually entering my wife's bedroom, for the first time in 10 years. Where did it get me? Absolutely nowhere. My wife walked out, and slept in a guest bedroom.

So much for my creative approach. Then again, I think I suffer from a different problem, than most of the folks in this forum. They have boring and dull sex lives. I have NO sex life, because my wife does not want it. She is essentially where you were, Gemma, before you re-discovered your sexuality.

Gemma said...

Mr. Self Respect, correct me if I'm wrong and I'm saying this gently but----Doesn't your wife prefer to be in relationships with lesbians? If so, that's why your creativity got you nowhere. Your wife is not into being married to you. That's her doings, not yours.

When I was refusing sex with my dh he did, indeed, have NO sex life, however, I have never been into lesbianism. I just didn't want sex unlike your wife who does want sex but only with her female 'lovers'.

No matter what you do from here on with your marriage or with a divorce, hold on to your self-respect.

Tulipsanticipation said...

Sounds like our husbands have some things in common. Mine is into computers and things more "practical" than I do. I'm always the one buying the lingerie and toys and would love it if he would show some creativity.

Any ideas on how to encourage this?

Gemma said...

Tulip, I don't really push my dh to be creative because it's just not his "bent", however, he's a quick 'learn' and our preferences for sexual activities are similar so if I come up with an idea, he's ready and willing. And then later on he'll use those same ideas to choose an activity for us to do. This works fine for us.

Another thing--- one of my readers, cocotte, mentioned that she often gives her dh choices like-- "Tonight, do you want to do this or that?" or "Do you want me to wear the black or the red?"