Sunday, November 23, 2008

How did parents do each other in the olden days?

As GR and I cope with having sex while our grown kids' bedrooms are on both sides of our room, we are constantly reminded to keep the noise level down as much as possible when the girls are home. And we're all in our bedrooms with walls between us and doors closed. He and I play music or TV to help muffle the sounds we make during sex. Still, they hear things that they would rather not hear.

Back in the old days couples often lived in an open-style, one room log cabin. I envision the parents bed off to one corner and kids sleeping in the loft. I am sure they did not always have bedrooms with walls and doors. How did the parents have sex without the kids watching and hearing them? Sure, they could have hung blankets around their bed for a fair degree of visual privacy but did they always resort to "silent sex" for audio privacy? How did they do each other?

15 comments:

LIT56RD said...

Gemma,

Can't speak from experience here. Pure guessing or supposition. More than likely couples made sure the little ones were asleep and the were not very vocal during love making. However, not that children should be exposed to the sights and sounds of their parents making love. I believe it is healthy, for age appropriate children, to know that their parents have loving marital sex.

Bev said...

I remember watching a show on the history channel, called "the history of sex". From what I understand they didn't really care if kids saw/heard them having sex or not. In the early setteler days families would all sleep in the same bed. So mom and dad would be have sex right next to their children. So much for any priviacy
I can't find the site for the page on the history channel.com but I can find the place to buy the DVDs

scotty said...

I wanted to email you a question, but I can't seem to see it anywhere. You could just answer it here if you want but it's off topic. I think you have a homemade 'recipe' for cleaning your toys - could you give that to me?
Thanks

Gemma said...

Funny you should ask, scotty. GR and I just got through playing and I had to mix up another match of toy cleaner while we were picking up. This is what I use:

Homemade Toy Cleaner

*1 part cheap shampoo, any scent.
*1 part rubbing alcohol
*1 part water

I put all 3 in a little plastic bottle which has a spray nozzle on top. Shake and it's ready to use.

Gemma said...

LIT, I have a 18yo sleep walker. Wonder how they handled that during sex?

As for kids being exposed to the sights and sounds... of course my 18 and 20yo know we have sex but I don't think they would appreciate hearing every sound we make. Maybe folks back then didn't think to make sounds during sex?

Gemma said...

Bev, if you can find the place to buy the "History of Sex" DVD, please come post it here. I may be interested in seeing that; others might too.

Can you picture if they slept in the same bed and had a large family? It must have been some large bed!

Bev said...

http://shop.history.com/?v=history_show_the-xy-factor

This is not DVD I was talking about. but it was good too. I will keep looking for the other

scotty said...

I could be wrong on this but I imagine that sex back in the day of the common bed (actually a practice quite a lot of families practice today -- that's another post I think)was probably more 'functional' than fun. I doubt most couples were having the good time we have these days :)
PS thanks for the recipe for cleaner - sounds easy.

Cocotte said...

I'm thinking the men were at home more often (or at least within walking distance) and they were able to do it during the day, when the kids were out doing chores,etc. Likewise, they might have just gone out to the barn themselves!

Gemma said...

You're welcome, scotty. It's easy to mix and easy to use. I spray the toy, let it set for a few minutes, rinse either at the sink or in the shower, dry and put away.

Yes, I know some people today do the family bed; I never have. I think you're right about sexual function over pleasure back then.

Gemma said...

cocotte, you might have a point there. Many families lived above their businesses in town or they lived on a farm. Going back to era of the one-room school house... I'm guessing that it was also easy for Mom and Dad to have sex while the kids were at school.

midwestman said...

I think "recreational sex" happened much less than it does today, for practical as well as social reasons. From the practical perspective, many families lived in the same room or at least non-private space. From the social perspective, the sexual revolution of the 60's drastically changed how we view sex and sexuality and we're all used to it as most of us here were born close to or after 1960. Previous to the 1900's and even up until the 1930s or 40s, society's view of sex in general was taboo, used for procreation. As far as I know there weren't things like nudist camps, communes, etc. and talking about sex was pretty much out of the question. Now, I'm sure there were some people in marriage relationships, that had a great [sexual] time, but given the puritanical views of most women, I think they had to have been in the very small minority. Just my 2 cents!

mwm

Gemma said...

Yep, the whole recreation vs. procreation purpose for sex only shifted in the early- mid 20th century. Women who enjoyed sex back then were likely a small percentage and I'm guessing they had to keep it secret. You'd think at least a small group of them would have been familiar with MB. They would have known that something "down there" felt real good to their touch but then they probably couldn't even tell their dh's for fear of being kicked to the curb.

Cocotte said...

I have to disagree with some of the above....certain subsets of the American culture (puritans, Victorians) believed that sex was only for procreation. But throughout history, many different peoples and cultures were getting their groove on!

Gemma said...

In my limited knowledge, I'm sure some of them had to have enjoyed sex but because of the social stigma regarding recreational sex, many of those who did enjoy it probably had to keep it secret and I'll bet that some of the wives probably couldn't even tell their husbands that they enjoyed it, let alone their friends or anyone else.