Saturday, November 29, 2008

Do you occasionally feel this way when your spouse cannot O?

This morning I got a glimpse of what it is like when a husband wants to see his wife O and she either cannot or will not. Tell me if this is true in your own marriages.

Because of being really sick all day Thursday and part of Friday, I have not been able to O these last couple of days. This morning GR really wanted me to and I will not get into the details of it but in helping me O, he ended up NOT Oing. Afterwards when we talked he said it did not matter this time because he was really only focused on helping me O and was not even thinking of getting his own. It kind of made me sad like he was missing out but he insisted that he was not.

As I write, he is still doing some phone support with his job so I am waiting for him to be freed up so we can go to bed and enjoy each other for the night.


LIT56RD said...


I experience that many times only in reverse. My DW rarely O's. Hope this is not TMI, whether manual or oral she will just want to move on to IC. She tells me to just enjoy myself and let go. I feel very guilty because I am not able to bring the enjoyment to her that she does to me. She always says that's OK and just go for it.

scotty said...

I am unable to O quite often, perhaps 20% of the time for various reasons and it is always harder for dh to O when I haven't and that does make me sad. We try to take it in stride. Although Oing is the preferred way to end a session of love-making, the act itself has a spiritual quality I feel that makes it so special in and of itself. If a lack of O was to persist of course it would be problematic.

Gemma said...

LIT, it's wonderful that you have a generous wife. But I'm wondering and I hope this isn't asking TMI but... How come she rarely O's? I mean, there are so many ways that wives can O. Is it that she just doesn't want to experiment to find ways that work with her body? I realize that many wives can't O through PIV-IC alone but you say you do man-stim and OS on her. Has she ever tried to O with a toy?

LIT56RD said...

Thanks for your comments.
We used a toy many years ago and she said she only wanted me. I am will to do what ever it takes for how ever long it takes for her to O. She gets impatient and just wants to move on. She can only O in a certain position. I need to time things right or I will go before her.

Anonymous said...

Don't be sad. This has happened several times to us. In an effort to pleasure my wife I employ self control to the point where I can't.

What we do is just lay together me inside her and enjoy each other's company. You can make it a nice close time together. The most imporant thing is that you are caring for each other.

scotty said...

My computer has been acting up - I left a comment here this morning so I'm wondering if you didn't get that?

herlover said...

Good for GR's attitude and I can certainly relate. Seeing, hearing, my DW O, is my greatest thrill. There is nothing like it, to me. From what we know about you Gemma, he won't have to wait long!


Gemma said...

Well, LIT, far be it for me to tell you what to do in your marriage bed but it saddens me to know that your dw rarely O's. From what you shared it sounds like the aid of a toy would likely enable her to at least have O's more frequently than she is now. Just something to consider since it's been "many years" since you guys tried a toy. I only want my dh but we sometimes use toys as "bedroom tools".

herlover, I agree with you in that most caring spouses enjoy seeing and hearing their spouse O. Most of the time I do O but occasionally I don't so GR receives slightly more O than I. It gives us both many opportunities to enjoy being the "giver".... well, and the "receiver" ;-).

Gemma said...

scotty, I don't believe anything from you came to my in-box this morning. If I do find anything, I'll certainly post it.

Gemma said...

Anon, enjoying each others company in bed that way offers a nice emotional bond. I get that ;-). But when one needs a sexual release, nothing calms it down other than an O. Of course, if a spouse has little desire to O often, it's not an issue.

Gemma said...

scotty said:
"If a lack of O was to persist of course it would be problematic."

Yup, I hear you on that one!

Tulipsanticipation said...

We've had this happen just a couple times where DH can't O because of putting it off too long to please me and I always feel bad.

I just make sure to make it up to him at a later time!

Gemma said...

Yup, rain checks work. I also make good on them either later that same day or the next day so he doesn't have to remind me... as if he had to \rolling eyes/.

A person should never have to remind his/her spouse of a sexual promise that was made because if they have to remind, it is too much like begging.