Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Expressing a grateful heart

After having sex, do you and/or your spouse have a grateful heart and do you verbally express your gratefulness to each other for all that is done with you and to you in the marriage bed?

Last night, GR and I had a particularly long and hot time of sex, ending with my two O's and his three. Then we both fell into a deep sleep that lasted through the night. As we were waking this morning I whispered into his ear, "You were so hot last night!" He replied with, "I though you said my hands were cold?" When he first crawled into bed last night, he had just come back from picking up dd#1 from school and he did, indeed, have icy, cold hands. I told him so then but that is not what I was referring to in this comment. "No silly, I meant the sex was hot... what you did to me and with me was hot." "Oh, you were hot, too." He finally got it, lol.

Sometimes after sex, I like to simply say, "Thank you for ----- (whatever)," to show my appreciation. Do you and/or your spouse verbally express thanks to each other after sex? How does it make you feel? Does it increase gratitude?


Cocotte said...

Yes! Since we do not have sex everyday, it is a very important aspect of our marriage bed. I will usually make a comment about it the next day or we will send each other veiled e-mails regarding what happened. Yesterday we had the house to ourselves, so today, I sent an e-mail to his work that simply said, "It's fun to be LOUD!" He got the message, loud & clear...

Gemma said...

I hear you ;-)! Sometimes we end up whispering because GR has a deep voice that carries. If I talk quietly, he talks loudly and the girls can hear him. Instead I usually end up whispering and then he whispers back. Sometimes you just gotta get loud during sex.

Anonymous said...

I have been trying to thank DW for all that she has done lately. This is after years of DW refusing and me just plain not standing up for being a good Christian husband. It is amazing just what a few words of encouragement can do in TMB.

Gemma said...

Yes, a few grateful words do go a long way. In my situation, I know my dh could have done like so many ex-refused spouses I read about.... where they hold back from forgiving and from sexually giving all of themselves to their ex-refuser spouses.

It's all rather sad, I think. One spouse finally "gets it right" and then the other spouse takes the "baton" and continues messing up the relationship... and all for what?

I am extremely grateful to my dh and tell him so. When I repented in 2006 and turned my life around in the marriage bed, he totally forgave me and totally took me on as his very, personal whore. We've been able to keep on improving our marriage from that point on.

This reminds me of part of the lyrics from the Veggie Tales "Thankfulness" song:

Because a thankful heart is a happy heart!
I'm glad for what I have,
Thats an easy way to start!

For the love that He shares,
'Cause He listens to my prayers,
That's why I say thanks every day!

job29man said...

Yes Gemma,

We thank each other or compliment each other most of the time, either right afterwards or the next day.

I might call from work to say "I slept really well last night." Or "I had a crazy dream last night that some wildwoman jumped in my bed and ravished me."

She will reply along the lines of "Hmmm, strange dream. I wonder who the woman could've been. Not me, because I'm so shy! (wink)"

Gemma said...

Good for you and Mrs. Job! I don't do this every time but I even like to say "please" before we have sex. I'll ask GR, "Would you please have sex with me?" Of course he always says "yes".

Sensuous Wife said...

I don't remember what I say exactly, cause my brain is in a postorgasmic haze. But I'm pretty sure I always say something sweet and affirming after Delighted Husband loves me.

The next morning, I might smile or wink or one of my favorites...I stand behind him at the bathroom sink, put my arms around his chest and whisper some compliment or appreciation while I kiss him between the shoulder blades.

Gemma said...

Isn't it so nice when spouses make a habit of giving and receiving thanks with each other for what takes place in the marriage bed?

Anonymous said...

gemma, have read your various contributions over the last couple of years of reading the several sections of TMB. TMB has been a real blessing. This is the first visit to your blog. Noticed this entry about thankfullness and wanted to comment. During our 35 yrs together DW and I (I'm always first to comment) are openly thankful to each other after ML. I always say "Thank you for loving me!", and she to me. I'm 62 and she's 57 though neither of us look our "odometer readings"! We're thankful for that, too! Due to a battle with ED, I have to take Levitra which hinders spontaneity but it makes the machinery work well, so it's worth it. We Praise God for our relationship with Him and each other. Blessings to you and GR for your openness to share your lives with others. I'll remain 'anonymous' for now as I haven't yet figured out a clever username for I haven't joined.

Gemma said...

Hi anon,

You are welcome to remain as "anonymous" for as long as you like but if think of a name and change it, let me know so I'll know who you are ;-). (Did that make sense?)

Anyhow, welcome to my blog. I suppose you could say that I share the lives of both GR and me at TMB and also here on my blog, lol. But he knows what I'm writing and has no objections.

It's always a treat to me when I meet someone on the internet who is over the age of 50 or 60 and is still enjoying their marriage bed.... and.... is thankful for what they have.

May God grant you many, many more years of hot sex with your dw.

Anonymous said...

Amen, and thank you gemma, we'll take it!