Sunday, October 26, 2008

Does your sex life largely depend on out of town "getaways" or does it thrive on daily "getaways" in your home?

Do you regularly take 'getaways' at home with your spouse even when you cannot go out of town? Or do you depend on out of town experiences to keep your marriage alive?

For GR and me in this season of life, running out of town for several days or a week at a time is not an option so we do not worry about it. We have a daughter who has several medical conditions which make it extremely hard to leave her with anyone. To date, we have only been fortunate to stay one night (last year) at a hotel in our town while leaving her in her sister's care.

We cannot break away from our kids for out of town trips so we keep our bedroom as a sacred place, of sorts. The kids do not knock on the bedroom door unless it is an emergency. And we do not answer the doorbell when we are occupied. We do not take phone calls unless GR is 'on call' for work and needs to take them. We do not do anything work-related in our bedroom because that is our daily 'getaway location'.

Because of our unique situation we have learned to make wonderful, daily memories at home, in our bedroom, and on dates. We have to because if we did not, our marriage relationship would be in a sad state. Regular date nights are a must for us to enjoy little bits of time alone away from the house and kids.

For those of you who can easily leave town without your kids, more power to you. For some of us who cannot, we prioritize our schedule to assure regular 'getaway' time at home and we do not allow anything or anyone to invade that space. We strive to live in our 'sex mode' 24/7 at home rather than stepping in and out of it like some couples do. This is as natural for us as breathing, eating and sleeping.

One day down the road, God may allow GR and me to take trips out of town for a week or more. For now, however, we want to daily be content and be good stewards with what He has already given us in our marriage relationship. It really IS all about regularly carving out quality "getaway" time no matter where we spend it.


midwestman said...

We're fortunate to be able to get away without worrying about the kids now. We try to get away once in the fall and once in the spring. My DW has gotten much more willing to have sex behind closed doors even when the kids are at home (which is virtually all the time now). And during those times we do consider our bedroom (or sometimes the camper out in the polke barn!) to be our temporary santuary. We light our scented candle that sounds like a crackling fire and turn on low lights for a comfy atmosphere...


luvmygirls said...

Hey, Gemma! We used to do neither because we didn't have money and I was a moron. Okay, I AM a moron. Anyway, we're trying to do both. We've just now started doing any kind of vacation, but we've also had two "us" weekends this year. MLK weekend and a summer overnight camping trip, just for us. We're planning our MLK weekend again and we're both very excited about it. We have been trying to romance each other daily, but you know how real life is. Maybe over breaks we can pick up the pace a little. But we like the new us a lot better than the old us. The trips help, but so does the little bit of time alone.

job29man said...

DW and I seldom get out for an overnight. Maybe a weekend every 2-3 years. Too many kids at home to do otherwise.

We make the fun here at home, and try to get out on one night dates for dinner about once a month. But we are home for bed at night.

We also just close the door and the kids leave us alone in bed, although generally they are in bed anyway.

Gemma said...

mwm,fall and spring sound like perfect times to get away if you can do it twice a year. We won't be at that place where we can leave our kids and go out of town for at least another year.

lmg, don't feel badly. Many of us just can't break away at this season of our life. That's why I asked on the blog if anyone practices in their daily life as though they were on "getaways" of sorts... for those of us who can't leave.

Job, I'm guessing that you guys must have strict bedtimes for your kids like we do. After a certain hour of the evening, we ask them to stay in their rooms, to not be wandering around the house.

Being home for bedtime most nights is crucial. Our kids have seldom been involved in regular evening activities that would take them (and us) away from the home on week nights. We've seen so many parents running every night of the week with kids' activities. GR and I have never bought into that lifestyle.

I have never liked our bedroom more than I like it now. It is the one sacred place in the house where GR and I can go in, close/lock the door and not be bothered :-). And we treasure out date nights as well and try to fit them in at least twice a month.

Cocotte said...

I wouldn't say we depend on out-of-town getaways, but they do seem to stand out in our minds and when we think of specific sexual encounters, those are the ones we both remember the most.

I guess the change in scenery plays a big part in our own minds.

Gemma said...

That's what I have heard, cocotte, that the change of scenery makes a difference. GR and I have only had one night at a hotel in our town and the change was nice, I have to admit.

Anonymous said...

As you know, we can't get away either Gemma, but we do make sure to take the opportunity to have "in-house" getaways as often as possible!!

Great post!!


Gemma said...

Good for you, Poli, for taking advantage of those "in-house" opportunities.

Sensuous Wife said...

Delighted Husband and I try to get away just the two of us at least once a year. Homebrewed sex is our staple. We just had an unexpected blessing of me tagging along on one of his business trips.

Gemma said...

SW, I like your phrase "homebrewed sex". I'll have to remember that.