Friday, October 3, 2008

Do you withdraw or do you enjoy a roll in the hay when you are stressed out?

There are those in both camps but which is better? Which is healthier for you and your marriage? Read what this columnist has to say about it.

Her article title didn't seem to match up with what she was saying. Maybe I missed something but to me, her title implied that she was asking if our sex life was stressing us out. Her article seemed to be saying something else.

At any rate, which do you do when faced with stress- withdraw or enjoy a roll in the hay?

8 comments:

Tulipsanticipation said...

It depends on what I'm stressed out about. If it's relationship based, such as we've been fighting lately I tend to withdraw more.
But if it things, maybe job-related, I definitely seek out the affirmation of my husband and need sex to feel better about things and unwind.

Gemma said...

Tulip,

Have you ever used sex to encourage the two of you to face the issues head on? It works really well for my dh and me but then, we are two high-SD individuals who are pathetically miserable without sex. When we are emotionally at odds, we both prefer to quickly do whatever it takes to resolve the issue so we can get back to the sex. I mean, who wants sex when there is tension in the air?

Tulipsanticipation said...

Hmmm, not really.
But I know that is something I need to work on to not hold grudges and be able to put things behind me.

Gemma said...

I'm still working on that myself, Tulip. It's been a work in progress for me to live day to day in my marriage as a peacemaker, always be ready to exhibit a spirit of forgiveness.

I jokingly blame it on my Italian background but in the end I really know that it is only my will, choosing to hold a grudge when dh and I are at odds.

There are so many scriptures which talk about being a peacemaker: http://www.oca.org/OCchapter.asp?SID=2&ID=169 . It has been a journey for me to go from being a strife-maker to becoming a peacemaker.

Mark said...

A very important thing has happened in my marriage that is related to your blog post.

As you now know my wife has said that she will never turn me down for sex again, which is why we had sex 5 times last week.

Also my wife is not an initiator when it comes to sex. It's not the way she thinks.

Well. My wife is taking classes from home now to finish her degree. She was feeling very stressed out today. She came to me and asked me to fuck her to help her relieve her stress.

Woo Hoo!!!! ;-)

Mark 9:24

Gemma said...

And I am sure you accommodated her, Mark ;-). Stress and physical pain were two benefits of sex that I only learned about as recent as 2 years ago. Sex is so good for us!

Mark said...

By the time we were done Gemma my DW was as limp as a wet noodle and had zero stress. :-)

It was very good for her. (and me too!)

Mark 9:24

Gemma said...

Happy for you and your dw, Mark.