Saturday, September 13, 2008

Does having sex help you stay connected to your spouse even when you're tired?

Have you ever gone to bed really, really tired and it showed but you still wanted sex? Recently, I had this happen to me although, GR has done this, too. The other night he and I hit the bed and I remember thinking how worn out I felt. [While waiting for my surgery, I frequently go to bed this way.] We talked about having sex but he was not convinced that I was up to it so he suggested to me, "Let's wait until later in the night when you are feeling better." I knew I was up to it but I could not convince him. To be honest, it kind of irritated me that he would not believe me so.... I am ashamed to admit this but... I resorted to pouting. Anyway, at that point I think he finally understood that I really did want to have a quickie; so we did.

Sometimes, even if I am wrung out at bedtime I can still enjoy and benefit, both physically and emotionally, from having sex. Sure, there are times for both of us when we are truly too tired to even make an attempt so we do postpone it until later in the night or in the early morning hours. But this was not one of those times. I know GR worries about me while we are waiting for my surgery but I told him, "Look, I know when I am in so much pain that I cannot enjoy sex. Please believe me and trust me when I say that I want sex and that I am up to it. I would never push for it if it would physically hurt me." The misunderstanding sort of came about because I was not "jumping his bones" ;-).

And thus we came to a new understanding of this daily decision of when to do it and when to take a rain check. Like I told him, "Having sex gives me a lift even when I am tired, as long as I am not too tired. It helps me stay connected to you."


Who am I said...

For me personally, sex when tired almost to the point of exhaustion does help me reconnect. It is rare that I would turn sex down because of tiredness, although there are times when I am tired, I sense she is not that much in the mood, so I just go on and drift off to sleep, where if I wasn't so tired, I might pursue it more.

Having waited just a few days for surgery in the past, I can well imagine that the waiting is almost worse than just getting it over with.

Gemma said...

I was just telling GR this morning how I can't wait for tomorrow's appointment to be behind me so I will know the game plan for surgery. Yes, the waiting [with pain] has been challenging.