Sunday, September 7, 2008

Bridging the gap between sex drives

Here are some ways to match up sex drives which are mix-matched. Sure, not all of the ideas will work in every marriage, but don't throw out the baby with the bath water.


job29man said...


My lovely wife and I are mix-matched. I am HD and she has slid from HD to LD in recent years.

We have talked it out with great understanding. One thing I asked of her was for her to try to think about sex during the day, to prepare her mind for sex at night.

She said that she does indeed think about sex during days sometimes (especially lately) and she just forgets by the time I get home.

Then she had a great idea, she said "Tell you what I'll do. I will put a post-it note in my wallet and as I think about sex during the day I will write my thoughts down and I will discuss them with you at night. That should help me get in the mood!"

What a great woman this is! She is trying her best to meet me in the middle!

Gemma said...


From my understanding, most married couples are somewhat mix-matched so, yes, a positive plan of action like your wife's can make a huge difference.

Although I am high-SD like GR, I actually have several things that I do anyway to help keep sex on my mind.

*Sometimes we have sex at night, other times in the morning. Keeping my late afternoons and early evenings freed up from major chores allows GR and me the option to choose night sex if that's what we desire. There are less chances of me being too tired at night.

*poetry reading-- love poems, erotic poems, etc.

*fictional novels-- I'm currently going through several of Nicholas Sparks' novels. They are perfect to keep love/romance on the mind. His books have interesting plots, very little sex scenes so they are nothing like trashy romance novels.

*reading self-help books pertaining to sex in marriage.

*I keep a separate journal that GR and I only use for writing about our intimacy. I keep it locked with our sex toys when not in use.

Married individuals who really want the best for their sexual intimacy will make the effort to do whatever it takes to keep their sex drive and sexual desire a priority. We use reminders for everything else in our life. Why not for sex?