Saturday, July 12, 2008

Do you enjoy a romp in the rough? Dealing with unnecessary bedroom rules!

On a marriage forum, I recently read and posted in a thread regarding spouses who bring up unrelated topics right in the middle of sex. Personally, my dh and I don't do that so it's a non-issue in our home. However, we occasionally find ourselves listening to or viewing the background "white noise" of the tv running next to the bed. We alternate between using tv and cd's as white noise so the kids are not always thinking, "The cd's playing. Mom and Dad must be at it."

Anyway, early this morning GR and I enjoyed a pleasant quickie while awakening. We were spooned with me in front. I woke first and got antsy so I kept wrapping my legs in and around GR's until he stirred and moved his body in tighter towards me as I pushed mine towards his. That was the extent of the foreplay and it was all "no hands" and "no words". Without changing positions, we began to make love. We stayed spooned until we O'd. Then I turned around to say "good-morning" while we enjoyed the afterglow with our nekkid bodies pressed together. Like we do many mornings, we went downstairs, made coffee and headed to the porch.

Per my request as I was not yet decent, GR filled the bird bath and watered our herb garden just outside our porch. As nature would have it, it was not long before rain drops very slowly began coming down as we sipped on our coffee so I asked GR, "Were we were supposed to have rain today?" [He is such a weather geek and always knows the answers.] "Of course," he says, "Weren't you listening to the weather report this morning?" "No, I wasn't-----," and then I laughed at him. "Oh, I get it. You were watching the weather while we were having sex!" He laughed and stumbled for a quick comeback but he wasn't quite fast enough.

I started to mimic a pretend scenario of him making love while catching the weather report. We are usually more vocal in bed, "Oh honey, you feel so good. I love to make love to you while we first wake. You are-------" As his voice trails off he stretches his neck to see the tv and thinks, "WAIT!!! What did she say about today's chance for rain?" The teasing was all in good humor; we were both laughing.

Later this morning I thought about this. Is it a good or a bad thing when you can still enjoy sex while one spouse is peeking at the tv or does it break the "romance" for you? Would that take away from the closeness you feel while in the midst of love making? It didn't bother me at all this morning. Many times we'll put the news on downstairs and talk between news pieces. Is there a huge difference between doing that in the living room or in the bedroom?

I understand if one spouse is truly breaking the mood for the other in the bedroom but do married couples have to have strict rules of do's and don'ts for both spouses to thoroughly enjoy sex? Do some spouses complain needlessly and use it as an excuse to say "no" or "no the settings not perfect"? Do too many "must have rules" like soft music, perfect lighting/candles, perfect clothing, no tv, etc., take away from having fun in a natural way as in, "Let's just do each other"?

Romance and perfect settings are fine for an occasional treat but are you and your spouse usually able to enjoy a romp in the rough... even if the tv's on?


Who am I said...

Well, thankfully we don't have a TV in the bedroom, so that isn't an issue. A couple of times we have started foreplay while she has been on the phone with the kids- or someone else. That can be fun, unless it lasts too long.

On rare occasions one of us may have mentioned another subject during lovemaking- it has been sort of an interesting diversion.

One thing lately that has really been helpful has been for me to give her a back rub as a slow part of foreplay, while we share about the day.

Lots of time, things can get hot after that.

Gemma said...

Not everyone can handle or benefit from a tv in the bedroom.

We've often done the backrub/sharing of day.

Cocotte said...

I don't have any rules about setting the scene for love making. However, we've never brought up off topic subjects while ML. Truthfully, I'd be turned off if my husband was watching TV or mentioned something that had nothing to do with our "activity at hand."

Our only problem is having to answer the phone if the kids are home. We will jump up and catch it on the first ring because we don't want the kids to come looking for us if the phone is for us (which it usually is). We cut the call very short by saying we are busy and will need to call the person back.

Anonymous said...

We don't have a TV in our bedroom. When we are making love, we are both fully concentrating on each other. We've had some "romps in the rough" ( floor one evening when he returned from work - I put dinner on hold!) but there was no TV:-)

Gemma said...

cocotte, I totally understand. Many folks would be turned off if spouse glanced at the tv in the middle of having sex. You have to understand GR's fixation with the weather to see why it didn't bother me. If I'm in a mood where it would offend me, I'd have to turn the weather off. You'd think he was a farmer the way he studies the weather.

anonymous, isn't that refreshing to occasionally do "romps in the rough" like your kitchen floor experience? It keeps the sex life fun and spontaneous.