Tuesday, May 27, 2008
I will be away from my computer for the better part of this week. There has been a death in my husband's immediate family. GR, the kids and I will be traveling out of state for the funeral. As I get a chance, if I get a chance, I will be popping in here, otherwise, I wanted you all to know that I have not disappeared.
Have a passionate week, folks.
Friday, May 23, 2008
This morning, we passionately did a semi-quickie. GR had to leave shortly after we woke so when I asked him if he was horny and wanted to have sex, he initially told me "no"... that he had to get out of bed and get moving. It was his own fault when he began doing foreplay with me. This time, we enjoyed a 20 minute semi-quickie with 2 O's each.
There is no good reason to leave out passion no matter what you end up doing or how long you decide to take. Keep your passion burning!
7 ways to tell if you are addicted to porn
I only scanned the article but I thought I would post it to see if others would find anything new that they were not aware of. The following quote from the article is one thing that popped out for me:
"Even if you thought you’d never be caught in the web of porn, the wrong click at the opportune time could have you hooked. Spicing up sex is just one of many reasons people explore all sorts of erotica."
When I hear folks say that they are bored with their marital sex... that they need to "spice it up"... I often wonder if it is really an issue of them lacking sexual passion. Sexual variety and sexual passion are two completely, yet related, areas. It is quite possible to have a passionate marriage without much variety (ie- many different activities & toys). However, to maintain sexual passion for the long haul of it, relying only on variety will be a poor substitute for lack of passion, truly.
Imagine that an individual was disabled and could only have sex in one position with his spouse? And what if the two of them tragically ended up on a deserted island and had no sex toys with them? Could they not have sexual passion for each other? Don't misunderstand me. I think sexual variety is great in a marriage, however, passion is the greater thing to be desired.
So, back to the article. What are your thoughts of it? Anything there you did not already know or was it all "old hat"?
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Gemma speaking to GR- "Good morning. Are you horny?" .. as they embrace each other while awakening.
GR- "Ohhh, I could be. Are you horny?" He's tired but obviously, he's slightly more horny than tired.
Gemma- "OK, let's cut the crap. It's 5:30. If you want to have sex, let's take care of that before we run out of time." No, it was not said begrudgingly. She was truly afraid the sex wouldn't happen.
GR- "What... are you watching the clock?"
Gemma- "Yes, I am. It's 5:30. We woke up late."
So they do a fun, quickie. It is now 5:40.
Afterwards, Gemma tells him--- "NOW I'll answer your question. No, I was not horny. I was too tired to be horny." (They were out last night and didn't get to bed until late.) She continues explaining to him, "But I was afraid that if we didn't get to it, we would have run out of time before you had to shower for work." GR- Seemingly happy and content that they used the time wisely.
Gemma and GR- Reluctantly crawl out of bed to begin their outside-the-bedroom day. GR will be in meetings all day... with a big smile plastered on his face. Gemma will be in and out the house today, bringing kids, picking up kids, going to the gym, doing stuff at home, etc.... with a big smile on her face, too.
They pull the car into the office parking lot and they part.
The moral of the story, if there is one:
Who says you can't enjoy passion within 10 minutes of time?
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
God doesn't expect me to be praying and/or reading the Bible before, during or immediately following a sex session. For those who feel the need to do all that simultaneously, go for it. Enjoying erotic, passionate sex while praying/Bible reading just doesn't mesh well with my dh and me so we don't worry about it right then.
And as far as I can tell, God is not displeased with the way I discuss sex on my blog. The reason I write this way is because 1) this is my writing and thinking style AND..... 2) to help free up other dw's or dh's who either, were or who are, trapped in a frigid body for one reason or another being unable to freely enjoy wild, passionate sex with their spouse. Many of my readers from TMB have told me that the freed up writing encourages freed up sex in their own MB.
Forgive my "riding the brakes" analogy below. Just this morning I was at the cemetery with a dd while she practiced driving (w/her driving permit). Even for those who are willing or more than willing to offer skimpy accommodation sex for their higher-SD spouse.... I compare it to someone learning to drive a car with their foot constantly on the brake.
*It slows down the learning.
*It keeps the driver in "fear" mode where they are too stressed and can't relax to enjoy driving.
*It can more easily cause accidents.
*It wears out the brakes.
*It costs more in auto repairs.
*If they drive with their spouse, it causes more arguments. (ie- "Why are you riding the brakes?")
There may be many more issues surrounding the habit of "riding the brake". Can you use your imagination and see how this would compare to having sex without your heart being into it... having sex but being afraid to enjoy it too much or too often? Nothing but problems and issues, right?
Everyone has their own ideas for helping couples deal with mix-matched SD's or to help them increase eroticism in their MB. What I do here is my method. When GR and I have sex, we don't forget that we're Christians. However, I don't feel like I have to *behave* a certain way in bed because God's eyes are watching us or because I'm afraid my dh will think I am a whore or a slut, which I love being for him, btw. Yes, I appreciate slow, tender sex but it doesn't usually have to be that way for me. Whether sex is rough or if it is gentle and tender, either way, I can enjoy it. And the words "whore" or "slut" work just fine for me. GR and I both know that I enjoy as my calling to be exclusively *his* whore, *his* slut... giving him as much quality and quantity of sex as he can stand.
And before anyone says, "I don't like to be called 'whore' or 'slut'," or "My dw would die before letting me call her those names," .... OK, but you're missing my point. It's not about what name comes to mind when you think of yourself or your spouse being wildly passionate in bed. It has everything to do with how we sexually engage with our spouse. Is it hot or is it not?
*When we're being sexually intimate, is our behavior intoxicating?
*Is it so hot that our spouse can barely think rational thoughts? (out of mind experience)
*Are we being as passionate as can be with our spouse whom we passionately loved when we were engaged?
*Do we even know HOW to be passionate in bed?
*If not, why aren't we learning how to be?
*Why are we settling for less?
*Is the passion hidden away, dormant?
*Did our passion leave since the beginning of our marriage?
*Do we even care if we get our passion back?
*Are we willing to put out every effort in our marriage to keep the passion up so that it's always in a state of "overflow"?
Can you tell that I am passionate about passion? :-) This is why I don't spend all my blog writing time suggesting "cute" ideas. Most low/no-SD spouses know all about how to come up with cute ideas. Please ::sigh::, I've heard it all. (ie- put panties in dh's pocket, etc. Boring!) When a spouse is extra horny, cute doesn't get it; passion gets it. You cannot have a hot marriage relationship without hot passion.
What changes are you willing to go through in order to bring about regular, hot, sizzling passion??? What changes are you willing to discuss with your spouse to push past the ordinary in order to love and make love in the extraordinary? My father, bless his heart, always taught me to be the best I could be. Here is one other area where each of us can choose to put forth our best effort... to "wow" our spouse.... to love and make love to our spouse so well that when he is going about his business throughout the day, the passion we share with him carries him through all other areas of his life.
Does our passion do this for our spouse? If not, then THAT is the task at hand. Learn how to increase passion. We all can benefit from improvements in that area. May I never get to a place where I feel that I have arrived at totally "wowing" my dh. He deserves all the "wow" and then some, that I can offer him. He is my love. He is the better half of me. He is the person that I swore to passionately love "until death do us part". We are not dead yet so may my passion continue in an upward spiral. I wish the same for you all, truly.
P.S. Quit riding the brakes!
Thursday, May 15, 2008
And what about guys doing intense bike riding? Say a guy's doing 2 hours of intense biking, 3-5 days a week. Can that cause physical ED, either temporary or permanent?
If you know where I can read scientific research on this, please post the link.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Recently, Monday of last week on Cinco de Mayo, I made HM chicken enchiladas for supper. It had been years since I drank Tequila but since I've always loved Margaritas I decided to serve them with the meal.
GR was not yet home. I prepared the enchiladas, slid the pan in the oven and set the timer. Meanwhile I wanted to relax with a drink while watching the news so I began mixing a Margarita. Clearly, I am not always the sharpest knife in the drawer. I quickly, apparently too quickly, read the "Margarita mix to Tequila" ratio and I measured it out as 2 parts mix to 2 parts Tequila.
Anyone who knows how to make Margaritas knows that I did an "oops" with my measuring. It should have been 3 parts mix to 1 part Tequila. Oh, well... it tasted good and I had the yummy, chunky Margarita salt around the glass rim.
I sat with my drink, a magazine and with the news on, enjoying my break. After the first drink I went back to the kitchen and made another, same way... 2 parts to 2 parts, not realizing what I had done. Throughout the evening until GR and I headed off to bed, I believe I ended up with maybe 4 strong Margaritas all total. And then........
The Tequila hit me!!! Oh my.... I was a witchy woman in bed with GR that night and didn't even realize just HOW witchy I had been until the next morning when he informed me, with a mischievous grin, that there was no stopping me in bed the night before. His words, "Uhhhhh, you were extra passionate while we had sex." It wasn't until we discussed how I mixed the Margaritas that I realized I had made them a bit strong. Anyhow, lesson learned.
I brought all that up to mention this--- Yesterday while running errands in the car, I heard this country song come on the radio and had to laugh. It was a Joe Nichols song entitled: "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off". As the song was playing I wondered if Tequila really is a much stronger liquor than many others because, boy.... my clothes sure did fall off fast.
Anyway, here are the words to the song:
Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off
She said I’m going out with my girlfriends
Margaritas at the Holiday Inn
Lord have mercy, my only thought
Was Tequila makes her clothes fall off
I told her put an extra layer on
I know what happens when she drinks Patrone
Her closet’s missing half the things she’s bought
Ya Tequila makes her clothes fall off
She’ll start with kickin’ out of her shoes
Loose an earring in her drink
Leave her jacket in the bathroom stall
Drop a contact down the sink
Them pantyhose aint gonna last too long
If the DJ puts Bon Jovi on
She might come home in a table cloth
Ya tequila makes her clothes fall off
She can handle any champagne brunch
A bridal shower with Bacardi punch
Jello shooters full of Smirnoff
But Tequila makes her clothes fall off
She don’t mean nothing - she’s just havin fun
Tomorrow she’ll say oh what have I done
Her friends will joke about the stuff she lost
ya tequila makes her clothes fall off
oh Tequila makes her clothes fall off (x2)
For years our family and friends did not possess the medical "know how" to be able to keep and care for dd#2 with us being away overnight. Yes, they could have learned the medical ropes but they didn't. That was then and this is now. Currently, dd#2 is 17yo and does fine taking care of her own medical care as long as someone else is with her.
Believe it or not, this past Dec, during GR's company Christmas party, was the very first time he and I had the chance to be away for the evening and overnight without the kids. His company threw the party at a hotel and paid for hotel rooms for all the employees. Since dd#2 is more independent with her health issues now and since dd#1 was with her, we were FINALLY free to go off for the night. What a thrill that was for us!!! Now we're ready to occasionally do more 1-nighters here in town, perhaps every 3-6 months. That way if dd#2 needs us here for medical reasons, we can easily run back to the house within 20 minutes.
So how do you plan getaways with kids or with kids who have medical issues to consider? How does it refresh your marriage when you are able to get away?
Monday, May 12, 2008
Wives, how do you rate? Husbands, how is your wife doing? What can we do to improve our marriage in these areas?
And, no, I do not endorse porn use as was suggested in one spot of the article.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
If you have links for good sites to *read* about sexuality, please post them here under this article in the comment section. If I can use them, I'll include them in my list over there on the right. I'm always looking for informative sites.
Thank you, folks.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
How do you weigh in? Please give your reasons. GR and I do not shave. Here are our reasons, from the article:
— Looking untamed brings out wild animal in you and lover.
— You both love it and make no apologies for embracing your natural state of being.— Hair captures enticing scents.
— Your hair-down-there is believed to retain and disseminate musky pheromones, substances the body emits as a sexual attractant that drives lover crazy.
— Experts believe that hair has a biological purpose, acting as a barrier to bacteria and viruses and reducing friction during sex. Proponents for going “au naturel” will be the first to remind you that before there was underwear, hair was a necessity in keeping dirt and germs away from genitals.
— You don’t have the time, or the money for that matter, for upkeep. For most people, being hairless requires work! You have no desire to make it a hobby.
— You love your body just the way it is.