Saturday, March 29, 2008

Hard Choices

I've lost my sleep lately. No, not sheep, "sleep". GR and I wake during the night and we can't go back to sleep without sex. Saturday mornings are the only times of the week that I'm allowed the luxury of sleeping in so what do I do? This morning, I woke up at 4am, could not quickly go back to sleep. Then, I woke GR and hit him up for sex. We were at it from 4-6am. By the time we were finished doing each other I was awake, had to go to the bathroom and was getting hungry, in that order. That was the end of sleep. Sex is hot any hour of the day but I sure wouldn't mind fitting a little sleep in here and there, kwim? On the other hand, I'd rather be without my sleep than do without love making.


In bed this morning
you tucked into the cove of my belly
our feet slipping past each other like fish
I reached out to embrace
the flat rock of your back
and carved out our names
with my tongue

teresa blagg


Anonymous said...

Hi, Gemma, Mr. Rkt from TMB here. I think this is one of the traits of your marriage that amazes me most. I had these thoughts when I read the earlier post on being awakened for sex, as well.

I have no way of knowing whether we are "normal", though I don't worry about it either. In our lives, however, both daily family life and sex itself can be sorely lacking in quality if we don't get our uninterrupted sleep. I know that in both of our minds, as strong as the desire for sex is, the desire for sleep is more.

As for family life, here is what happens if I am not fully rested. My mood is sour (whether or not I had sex), my body aches, I can't think or concentrate (either at home or on the job), I am easily distracted and irritated, I become mildly paranoid, and my physical exercise feels lousy. As for sex, it is of course a wonderful connection and feels great, but it is impossible to feel creative, serving, or to lose myself in the love, because I am so consciously aware of how much sleep this is costing me.

We have made some real efforts to eliminate evening activities after 8:30, and to get to bed between 9 and 10, or we will simply be too tired for sex. Even then, it is not uncommon for one or both of us to not be able to stay awake. Given that we are right there, next to each other, physically able, and desiring each other, with no interruptions in the way -- one might think that sex is an easy choice over sleep. But it's not.

We're about a dozen years younger than you guys, and in fairly good shape -- but this is just how our bodies work. It is an amazing blessing for you two that at this stage in life, and after so many years of neglect, that you can do something like have TWO HOURS of sex in the middle of the night, and still function as reasonable human beings during the day. It must be a special blessing, just for you. :)

Gemma said...

Good Sunday morning to you, Mr. Rkt.

:::both daily family life and sex itself can be sorely lacking in quality if we don't get our uninterrupted sleep.

We are this way too, Rocket. Typically, I'm the one telling others, "Go to bed early and get plenty sleep so you can enjoy good sex." We're currently, and I hope temporarily, not *exactly* living on our advice. Pressing medical and academic situations with kids, have been crowding out some of our sleep but we see the light at the end of the dark tunnel.

I've been whining because I don't mind waking in middle of night or early morning for sex but I DO have to get my sleep in somewhere. We've had too many late nights and they've got to go.

:::I know that in both of our minds, as strong as the desire for sex is, the desire for sleep is more.

GR and I can go for a season with little sleep while continuing to have great sex but we can't do it indefinitely AND..... we don't want the bad sleep to last forever. All the symptoms you described from bad sleep... it's the same with us if sex is too infrequent. Of course, we'll feel the same thing if our sleep gets really bad, like it's been lately.

We do our best if we can get to bed by 8:30-9pm. Being in our 50's may have something to do with desire for early bedtimes. Going to bed by 9, we may or may not engage in sex before sleep but it allows us enough rest so that if one of us wakes in middle of night or 4am (sigh, our frequent wake-up-for-sex time) we can manage nicely.

Can you tell who's the morning person between GR and me? GR stretches himself after work days to have sex right at bedtime. It's not so much physical tiredness but his job brings him home mentally exhausted so he often hits the bed wiped out. Early mornings are when I can be more sexually challenged. (Can we say "morning sleep sex"?)

Years back I rarely hit the pillow at night to just quickly not off; it used to take me hours. In the last year, all that has changed where some nights my head goes down and I'm out. I guess it's all part of getting older.

Rocket, I don't know how reasonably we are functioning ;-). It probably shows in my writing because my thoughts are not as organized. God-ordained sex??? It must be power from on high! We still think it's pretty amazing. Thanks so much for the "get your sleep" reminder.

NOTE TO OTHERS: Do not launch 2 kids into college at same time. If you do, prepare to lose much sleep.