Monday, March 31, 2008

How pathetic are you?

Do you enjoy sex more with kids in the next room sleeping or when they're awake or does it make a difference? 16 months ago, kids being awake in the next room would have bothered me more, where I would have been less likely to proceed with sex. This problem has become "old hat" since then. Although we try to keep our noise down out of consideration for our two college kids when they're awake in their rooms, waiting for them to be asleep at night would shut down all of our bedtime fun. If they insist on staying up late for studies, they will run the risk of hearing Mom and Dad enjoying sex. We can only do so much, kwim? And the problem with older teens and young adults hearing you is that there is no mistaking in identifying the sounds coming from their parent's room. If they hear it---- you are "busted".

This situation happened again early this morning. It was 5am. Dd1 was up early studying. Monday mornings are often hectic, trying to get everyone out the door on time. When GR and I realized dd1 was already up and knowing it was our "crazy morning" of the week, we decided to forgo sex so he'd have time to prepare to leave for work. When sex can't happen, we do this little 'dance'. It's maddening, really, I'm not sure why we choose to torture ourselves but we do. Jokingly, we each say that we need a sexual reminder to help us think about the other throughout the day. Sometimes the reminder works and other times, it goes *woefully wrong* where it becomes a full blown sex session or at the least, a quickie.

This morning, we were enjoying each others' bodies up to a point and then trying to stop. We were both gazing at each other, trying hard to not touch too much. We kept holding back. When we do this 'dance' our favorite line is, "I'm not so sure this is enough to remember you later today," so then we continue on. Finally, at one point I looked at GR and said, "I know dd1's sitting at her desk but I can no longer hold back. If we keep going, we won't need the reminder. Can you make love to me quietly? He promised and we did.

Afterwards, I told him, "Now go and shower while I make coffee and get breakfast going." Over coffee, we agreed that we were two pathetic, shameless people who have no will-power to keep hands to ourselves. But really--- How do you NOT touch a hot, nude body sleeping beside you?


Sensuous Wife said...

why does shameless have to be paired with pathetic? what have you two married people done that you need to feel ashamed of? really? If you haven't done anything you should be ashamed of, then why be ashamed? If you had stolen a car or told a lie and got somebody fired that would be something to be ashamed of. Unneccesary shame is horrid.
So now you feel ashamed that you don't feel ashamed? Good Lord!

I don't know what to tell you about ML while nonsleeping teenagers are in the house. Our DC are not teenaged yet. It's not so unusual that we tell them when they ask permission to play Wii that we're fine with that as long as they play nicely upstairs with no arguing with their sibilings because Mom and Dad want to go downstairs to our room to have a nap and some husband wife time. Can they hear us over their WW2 Wii game? No. But if they did hear us laughing or making happy sounds then what they've learned by that is husbands and wives enjoy each other as much as kids enjoy Wii. I'm fine with that. (grin)

Gemma said...

We were only *joking* about being "pathetic and shameless". This was the second or third time in the last 16 months where GR and I initially started out trying to NOT have sex while in bed. Each time, we wimped out and gave in. Hence, the joking comment "pathetic and shameless".

And kids hearing laughter or "happy sounds" is not a concern with our 17-20yo's in nearby rooms. I'm talking about the sounds of GR and me doing each other, which is a little more revealing when kids can hear it. It's not that they don't know what we're doing; they're fully aware. They simply would rather not hear the blow-by-blow audio version of it ;-). (ie, TMI for their ears.)

Both of them make use of noisy fans and music to help as a sound barrier from hearing us but they don't have the noise going in their bedrooms 24/7.

It only bothered me because I knew dd1 was awake, sitting at her desk, right on the opposite side of a wall in our room. So we did quiet sex.

Anonymous said...

I would much rather ML without our teens in the house - something that happened once a week on Wednesday when they were both gone and we always planned a special time and could be as vocal as we wanted. Now we don't have that opportunity and have to hold down the noise which I find constraining. I'm quite vocal and really miss being able to let go when we're in the heat of intercourse...this too shall pass!


Cocotte said...

With three teens, one is usually home at any given time on the weekends. We just shut the door and turn on the TV or music. The problem is that I enjoy a lot of talk during LM and often find myself saying, "What?" because I have a little bit of hearing loss (and am NOT ready to get a hearing aid)! Anyway, it always feels better when we can be as loud as possible, especially during the orgasm. We always look forward to days that DH takes off from work while the kids are in school. An added benefit to this is being able to do it anywhere in the house instead of just being constrained to the bedroom.

Gemma said...

We have the same problem, cocotte. I'm about ready to spring for the girls to do a once/month trip to the movie theatre and fast food just so GR and I can look forward to that extra little bit of scheduled time with the house to ourselves. Seems like when one kid's gone the other is home. Can't they synchronize their away-from-home activities?

I can be a very loud O'er so I know what you mean. Stifling sounds of O is not fun :-(.

job29man said...

To your brazenness I say bravo! I'm sure you do it without "rubbing their noses in it".

We still have mostof our 10 kids at home, of all ages. We have completely given up on the idea of waiting till the house is empty before we can have sex "before bedtime." My job gets me up very early, and by the time the kids are ready for bed, so am I, and then I NEED to sleep. So if there is to be any "swinging from the chandeliers and screaming" I guess it'll have to wait for us to get the kids all out for ice cream cones with an older kid. But we have no problem just walking off to the bedroom and saying to the kids "Don't disturb us!"

We don't "wink" or anything. And we understand that the older ones totally know what's going on. The older girls actually give a knowing smile. All the kids LOVE the fact that in an age of so many families experiencing divorce and unhappiness, their parents are very affectionate and always "sneaking away for an hour".

It makes them feel loved and secure to know that Daddy and Mommy have great passion for each other :-)

Gemma said...

Job said:
"It makes them feel loved and secure to know that Daddy and Mommy have great passion for each other :-)"

Yes it does, Job. I agree!